Dealing with the Baggage and the Selective Memory

Dealing with the bad parts of our stories – now – will mean all parts of the journey – later – will be recalled fondly, then.

There are two types of individuals in the world; those who’ve dealt with their pasts and those who haven’t. And yet, it doesn’t matter which camp we belong in, because these skills of dealing with our emotional baggage—and everyone has some—are required continually and can be learned/learnt at any time.

A Feature of Reconciled Memory

Have you ever wondered why the past often seems rosier than the present?

For instance, the previous company we worked for was (probably) so much better (at least in some ways) than this one we presently work at. Our childhoods—if we’re not scarred by them—we cherish fondly; we’ve forgotten the school bully, the chiding parent, the embarrassing moments of growing up, and the frustrations we experienced in life, particularly related perhaps to the rate or extent of our physical and mental growth. (Adolescence, if we’ll recall, is a horribly painstaking process.)

Our memories flatter our pasts...

Unless that is, if we’re still living in our pasts via an unreconciled account of what took place back then. Never mind; it’s not too late—it’s never too late.

Enjoying Great Memories of Now in the Future

Dealing with our presents and our pasts, now, is sowing into our futures a sense of hopefulness that we can’t even begin to grasp now; it’s an investment—a ‘lick’—of faith. It is then that we’ll be impressed with the wisdom we had, to undertake this reconciliation process, now.

And this reward pertains to our courage to be honest. Most of the time these issues that hurt us weren’t even our fault, and yet we’re the ones stuck in this space.

Putting the past behind us is perhaps simpler than it seems, if we hit it running, honestly and with all sincerity of commitment. And there’s only truly a thin veneer of fear to deal with if we go at it with guns blazing—and the right sort of loving support in tow.

In doing this, we enjoy a rather selective memory which has reconciled the past and forgiven it—moving on to the more relevant aspects of life, where, in fact, there is good influence to be had and a peace-filled journey to be enjoyed.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.