“My tears
have been my food day and night...”
~Psalm 42:3a
(NRSV)
How is it that life could have
such a low opinion of us that it would castigate us into a bout of depression?
We can be forgiven for asking this
question, among others; for questioning the injustice of life that we, properly
caring individuals, are fatigued at such depth. Why is it that we, people who
may have such empathy for the others’ suffering, are lambasted and lashed by
this horrendous black dog?
Though these sorts of questions
are always logical—and we can tell from hindsight, having recovered our
reasonable minds—they can seem inappropriate and pitiful, as guilt and
self-condemnation recoil through us like a viper in our piqued
self-consciousness.
How Do We Love A Black Dog?
We may never have another
opportunity to grow quite so close to God than through the one we have
presently. This is both an awkward truth and an enlightening one.
It is awkward because we may still
ask the question—“Why me?”—yet somehow we know what a special period this is—if
we know God. The believer has a special advantage in their depression: they
know God. And being part of their number, if we are, we have respite.
Even when we don’t feel the rest
that God promises, we have hope that we will. We know that relief will come.
But there is an opportunity, even
in a bout of depression. What if we could learn to love this black dog? What if
we could learn to nurture ourselves in our sadness, in our incapacity, and, in
our forlornness? What if we could learn to allow God to nurture us, to hold us,
and to love us, and our black dog, through this period and ever more?
Images Of Love That Resonate
There is no simple answer for the
way out of depression. Each person, each situation, and each case, is
different, as are the reasons we suffer in the first place.
But what can help as we plan our recovery,
and it always helps to plan, is to find images of love that resonate. We may
have sources for empathy about us, counsellors and pastors and friends and
family, but we have the greatest source of empathy in our belief in a loving
God. God loves us many ways, but in these cases most poignantly by images of
love that resonate.
Images of love that resonate are
like colours of the rainbow; all of the emotions, and not just the sad and mad
ones, come into play. God meets us emotionally. As we open ourselves up to
images all around us, life in full flight, we allow God to minister to us,
healing our hearts. Sunrises and sunsets, soothing rain, silence, music,
stories of compassion, and a good book—all examples.
***
Finding a way out of depression is
about finding love that is just right for the moment. Those moments provide
hope for survival. And survival seems the key to growth and adjustment. Most of
all, God loves us ever more through and out of our depression.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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