We can become so stilted toward
success in life that we become morbidly fearful of failure. When the drive to
achieve sets the compass of all our hopes, there is little room or toleration
for missing the mark.
Our very hunger for success may
just be the thing that keeps us from true success—the liberation of our person. Only when we are free to fail, abjectly free
to remain happily broken, not fearful at all of disappointing people, are we
relaxed regarding performance.
And let’s get it straight, life is
all about performance.
It seems a core competency in the
vanguard toward maturity, that failure would become accepted—not as an end in
itself, but as an important means compelling us to a better end.
Going Against The Theme Of Life
It can be hard going against the
theme of life, especially regarding our personal preferences for success and
others’ expectations that we would be successful.
But the success-at-all-costs
approach fails because it is so fearful of failure. It doesn’t have an answer
for failure. It may even be confounded by it.
Going against the theme of life,
which is the aberrant passion for success, is not about attracting failure per
se—for who would do that? It is more about seeing failure as a necessary part of every journey of success. No one can
taste success every time.
How would we learn to improve if
we never failed? How would we be inspired to win if we never lost? How would we
connect with compassion and sorrow if all there was were bliss and happiness?
The experience of failure actually makes us more rounded individuals. We become
better winners for having lost. And when we can lose, yet we don’t give up,
then we have assumed the attitude of a true winner.
Beyond Embarrassment And Humiliation
The essence of failure is the
feeling of replete exposure. The outworking of such emotion is generally
embarrassment and humiliation. Courage is required in meeting these emotions.
These are paradoxical concepts. Where we fail, we most need courage.
Getting beyond embarrassment and
humiliation, without denying the failure that has occurred, is reliant on how
well we can draw on courage. Courage in this way is the ability to handle truth
truthfully.
When we don’t have to hide the
truth, and we can live with ourselves beyond the embarrassment and humiliation,
no failure can defeat us; not ultimately.
***
In a life that celebrates success
and shuns failure, there, the fear of failure runs rife. It would be better to
accept failure as a necessary ingredient toward success. When we can celebrate
failure because of what we are learning, we are the true path to success.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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