Something has happened, just now, or as a memory, where the instant reaction is, or was, anger. Perhaps what precipitated it were feelings of downright hurt or inexplicable injustice. Right now, though, the inner storm brews and there’s strong reckoning to discharge upon grounds for abuse.
What do we do with such moments? We all have them.
The temptation, and of course we’ve done it so often, is to give expression to our fury. We let loose; somehow believing our anger will bring justice or it might make us feel better.
Anger, however, is a lesson; one ever difficult to learn. Anger’s lesson is we’re blessed to hold the moment.
What Does ‘Holding The Moment’ Mean?
Somehow beside ourselves in our emotional moments, there’s an ally that speaks for us, when we cannot reliably speak for ourselves; when things have become too tenuous; as we’re betwixt with confusing, perplexing, overwhelming emotion.
Somehow within the inner storm there’s a quiet voice we can connect with. As we give validity to this voice we make invitation. The voice teaches us calmness beyond reason, for why—in our reasonable minds—would we be calm when rage boils within us? This reasonability is a trick, however. The voice helping us to calmness is actually the reasonable voice—fathoms more reasonable than the voice compelling us to let fly with our scourge.
Holding the moment is holding a storm, containing it, protecting us and vulnerable others from the effects of its potential. Like containing a hurricane within a glass jar, its lid firmly attached, we may now appreciate the wonder of the power within that storm. It can be viewed, safely.
The wonderful thing about holding the moment is we only need to do it once, successfully, and we’re inspired to do it again and again. We watch for the next moment where visceral annoyance claims our heart and mind... We do nothing; we let it sit.
Good Reason For Doing Nothing
Many of us have operated under the wrong assumption, that expressing our anger just as it comes is a healthy response. It’s only partly correct. We must express our anger, giving it some semblance of voice. But this is easily done in a controlled, unemotional manner; without the costs in terms of abuse and damage.
In the moment of our anger there’s good reason in doing nothing.
We’ll be rewarded, later, for our insight of wisdom to delay what our instincts told us to do. Even a short time later, fresh perspective comes. A better mode of action comes to our awareness. We should wait for our emotions to subside.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.