Sunday, December 5, 2010

That Quest for Aloneness

Against loneliness, there is another state—that of wanting to be alone. Common for introverts, but a need for all, there is something alluring about alone-time. We should have no excuse to grab it, if we can, as we have need of it.

It’s no use feeling guilty for deliberately isolating ourselves—so long as it doesn’t become an everyday occurrence, especially when others are relying on us.

But, that’s part of the problem. When we feel like we need to get away, yet others are still looking to us, we need to get creative about how we’ll redeem time and space for ourselves. After all, this alone-time is about an essential briefing, debriefing and re-ordering of our thoughts and priorities.

Deeper than that it’s sorting out our emotions and getting our heads straight again.

Against the Realms of Time and Space

The value of some time in the desert cannot be understated. There are times, fleetingly perhaps, when we just don’t want to be alive, for we have these unreconciled issues that stand disposed against good sense.

Time is not on our side and space seems non-existent. Alone-times, then, are the opportunity to create a sense of our own time and space—a chasm-bridging exercise—as we ready ourselves to be able to re-join the world at large; that world that just won’t quite understand our polarising conundrum.

Just Getting Away – To ‘Become’ Ourselves Again

Sometimes we might find it hard to be ourselves around others, even (especially even) ‘close’ others. If we can get away—even if that’s only into the backyard or the next room—we can get the space between the ears and the heart-space we need.

We can deal with our primary emotion, whether that is just to get ‘still’ again, to cry, laugh, or otherwise. The anger of pent-up emotion is the secondary emotion we feel when we don’t give way to our primary (or true) emotion.

It’s these times, when do take the refreshment of alone-time, that we can find the gentle breath of the Spirit filtering through our souls to sort us out.

Sometimes this process takes a whole day or a whole night. Other times, all we need is ten minutes.

The best thing, however, is that we simply do it. Then life can begin again.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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