Sunday, May 11, 2014

Self-Forgiveness for Being ‘Strong’ for Too Long

Help me, Lord, when I am wrong,
When these bad feelings are ever so strong,
Help me achieve some spiritual relief,
Take me past torment into fresh belief.
AMEN.
***
Paradoxes are gargantuan things in the Kingdom of God. So readily do we strive and stride ahead in our own strength – not relying on God or others God has placed there for us to give us support – and we miss the point, and the therapy that could be ours.
Being strong too long weakens us.
Being strong too long makes strength a burden which weakens us.
Being strong too long is a folly of spiritual unsustainability.
When we resist the help we could otherwise get – acknowledging that not everyone has such help so easily accessible – we remain on bearing for our strength to become its very own weakness; a liability of graphic emotional proportions.
From someone who both helps people in their weakness and is found as weak iteratively I know the perils of going it alone without cause for wisdom.
***
The bounty for forgiveness is plain for all to see – peace, a grace-intended peace.
To experience the grace of God in feeling the forgiveness of ourselves for the fact of our folly is the language of learning. We only need to be humbled so many times before we know what is better for us.
Being strong for too long is the shape of depression as vulnerability moulds itself around us as we surrendered our self-control in unfavourable circumstances.
But being strong for too long is, in its essence, the material for learning.
Mistakes and life experiences do not need to be repeated.
If we can take the counsel of our experiences and will in future cautiously seek the assistance available then, praise God for this new learning.
In the meantime, we have such an excellent possibility for healing as we resist the temptation to berate ourselves for arriving at this depressed place having pushed too hard for too long.
***
OH, Lord, I’ve been too strong
For way too long,
How ever could I have missed your mark?
Will you bring me back to me?
Give me back light from the hiss of dark.
AMEN.
Being too strong for too long reconciles mental ills. The way we reconcile recovery is by embracing our weakness by accepting it and all the help we need and can get.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

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