We have all been to rejection-land. We applied for the promotion or put our hand up for a special project, only to get knocked back. Perhaps a promising relationship flopped when we least expected it; instead of the call to ask how our day was going, it was, “Dear John” or “Dear Jan.”
We felt useless, motionless... worthless. “Shattered” is the word. We perhaps wondered what others in positions to make those decisions thought of us; ‘inadequate’ or ‘undesired’ in their qualified opinion.
The Good News
There is rejection in this world for many reasons. Some are for learning, but they’re mostly about ‘gates’ showing us ways that are not for us, or perhaps even not for this time, or not that way.
Not everything we want or desire is to be our destiny—the predestined pathway—not that we don’t have majority say on what actual destinations we’ll find ourselves in the acquisition of.
If some don’t want us there are plenty of better ones who will. And by “better ones” I mean people, situations, tasks and passions that are more in tune with us; our inner selves.
Being unsuccessful is just the passage through one gate into another, better direction—however that looks. Who knows where the ‘adventure’ will end, but it is best treated as an adventure.
Stemming Annoyance unto Resentment
Understanding the facts of rejection and not being hurt by it is hard. Only we as individuals can come to know through our own journey what it’s like to come to a peaceful acceptance that this path we desired is not for us.
Instead, God’s “R&D”
And perhaps where God wants us is in seeing ourselves as a ‘research and development’ project—one that lasts our entire lifetimes. When we’re in “R&D” we know that we place our expectations loosely and with caution—we never know how things are going to turn out, but we ever wait for success along the pathway, however that success looks. R&D is an adventure, and so is life to be.
Our hopes are high and general, so our expectations must be pliable.
Rejection is Not the End
Rejection is not the end. It’s the beginning of a new chapter we’re writing in our lives right now. It might not sound exciting or even inviting, but this acute hurt we’re feeling now could prove to be one of our greatest God-sends.
We cannot see the end. We have limited vision. So, we keep an open mind, not rejecting the hurt, and simply accept it for a crucial life lesson along the way. It is very important we’re honest with ourselves.
We feel or felt rejected because this thing, person, project or job was important to us. Even more important things, people, projects and jobs lay in wait for us, in our futures!
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.