ON PAGE 103 of my Job commentary by Derek Thomas the intrepid ‘Scream Room’ is mooted. This is a place ideal for hospitals as grieving patients may enter for a time and expel the despairing and anger to their flailing heart’s desire. We know already—certainly via Job—that grief is not scalable territory. It cannot be resolved in linear terms.
The anger involved in grief at any number of levels is beyond our understanding, really. And in this way a scream room makes a lot of sense. Anger—an emotion of the betwixt—is hardly the best coping mechanism, but at times that’s all that’s left as we pace to the beat of torment’s drum.
We all get angry, confused and upset. Sometimes this bubbles out of us in relatively harmless and at times even amusing ways; but anger for many—in some situations—is as corrosive as full strength sulphuric acid.
We could all do with a good scream from time to time, much like we need a good cry (yes, men, us too!). And this is our chance. To free our arms, unfurl the vocal chords and grasp our heads in temporary madness can be incredibly freeing.
I’ll at times cringe slightly, however, at the embarrassing thought that our neighbours might’ve heard a scream, a shout or an argument from our home—it’s funny how paper thin the walls seem when our neighbours are talking outside—it must’ve been that way for them too when we make a ruckus, as all people do. But we need to get over this.
Embarrassment aside, a good blood-curdling scream can only be good for us. We all have times in life when things have gone so totally pear-shaped we just want to throttle someone, walk into a closet or scream. And grief is often beyond this stimuli altogether; numbness consumes. At the least conscionable moment we throw our hands in the air. To do this, to allow ourselves that emotional freedom, is a great compassion to us.
When the pit of grief, hate, conflict, guilt or shame has swallowed us, or threatens, we must try to do something with the emotions; something worthy with the energy.
Scream or cry. Just get out of the way of others and protect your relationships, then have your purge.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.