“Be angry but do not sin; do not
let the sun go down on your anger.”
~Ephesians 4:26 (NRSV)
Is it right to be angry, because,
as it is, we cannot avoid it. As God has capacity for anger, so do we. Anger,
in principle, is not inherently sinful. But what comes from anger often is. We
do well to understand, however, there are myriad healthy forces for anger.
Get Angry but Be Not Consumed by the
Anger
In the first part of this verse,
assuming it is allowing certain anger, we are commanded to find a balance in
the expression of our anger. In other words, we are told not to deny what we
feel. To deny the truth would be tantamount to intrapsychic treason—a betrayal
of oneself.
This is one reason why our world
spirals into chaotic manifestations of crime; there is too much denial of true
feeling, certainly anger.
Where a human being, one created
to feel and experience feeling, denies those very feelings, they, at that
point, deny their distinctive and necessary humanity.
If we cannot be angry when we need
to be, to express what God has ordained us to express, we press these feelings
down into a deep unconscious void that is quickly and firmly locked. This might
explain, somewhat, why we struggle with further representations of anger—less
helpful representations—those that implicate us in sin.
The first half of this verse above
is a two-sided command. We are to be angry in accord with our God-anointed
feelings, but we are also to find a balance in that anger.
But the beauty of God-anointed
feelings, in terms of anger, is they don’t provoke us to sin. Only the
repressed portion of anger throws us into convolutions of sin.
Bringing Swift
Resolution
The second part of this verse
above commends us to bring a swift resolution to the conflict. In the first
part we are commended for not smoothing over potential conflict situations. If
there is conflict there is conflict. We are commanded not to deny the conflict.
We are to bravely confront it. But in the second part of the verse we are reminded
to keep the conflict in balance with a higher imperative—the value of the relationship.
The difference between angry
feelings that have spilled into unhelpful rage and simmering resentment and
that which is assertively poised is how the conflict is handled.
Once we are in conflict can we
facilitate a healthy resolution?
Once we are opposed can we bring a
quick, mutually-satisfying end to the impasse?
When disagreement abounds, and resentment
threatens to simmer, have we sufficient control over the anger to achieve
recognition of the conflict, but love in all events?
***
Relationships actually build
closer where conflict is allowed. When we trust each other enough to allow real
emotions, greater levels of intimacy are forged.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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