Besides the physical, security,
and survival needs vital to our humanity, every human being has psychological needs,
which, if not met, threaten the person’s capability to actualise themselves.
That is, where these psychological needs are not met the person in question may
miss out on reaching their psychological potential. This is important not only
for the person, but for all their loved ones, too. The psychologically healthy
person cares for the psychological health of others. The opposite is also true.
That is our primary concern.
Personal psychological health has a ripple impact into the family and out into
the community. Four basic needs need to be met.
Every human being needs to be
identified with, acknowledged, appreciated, and remembered.
1. The Need For Identification
Identity is the soul of each one
of us. We build a self-concept and it is continually nurtured by our
interactions with our world. How other people see us and treat us is feedback
about our identities.
Perhaps our most innate
psychological need is that of identity and identification in our world.
2. The Need To Be Acknowledged
Truth is incredibly important for
us. Where people have transgressed us we can forgive if there is acknowledgement. Where there is no
acknowledgement—no apology, remorse, or restitution—we find it palpably
difficult to move on.
This is why National Days of
Apology, and organisational apologies for the sins of past, are not only fair
but they are necessary. Stolen generations are a good case in point. Child
abuse in state care is another. The transgressed deserve the truth to be
acknowledged.
Acknowledgement doesn’t make the
wrongs right, but it acknowledges the truth of what took place. Each of us has
the need for our truths to be validated.
3. The Need To Be Appreciated
Everybody desires pleasant and
positive feedback. Where there is a void of reassuring recognition, especially
where there are reminders of lack, people lose meaning, and purpose evaporates
from their lives. Depression, in these circumstances, can be a natural
progression.
On the other hand, when we are
appreciated we are accepted. When we are appreciated our sense of
identification is bolstered. Appreciation validates our identities, is its own acknowledgement,
and it is also sound means for remembrance.
4. The Need To Be Remembered
Legacy is more important to most of
us than we realise. We notice this most when we consider our loved ones who
have departed. We look for what we can retain their memory by. We are saddened
by the fact we can’t retain more. Existence is so limited, and, because of
this, our legacy is ever more poignant.
A great gift we can give another
person is to remember them. The wisest of people understand it is their legacy
that will live on beyond them.
***
We have four core psychological
needs: 1) to enjoy a safe identity; 2) to receive acknowledgement from our world; 3) to gain appreciation for what we do and for whom we are; and, 4)
to be remembered for the
good things we have done.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
Acknowledgement: to Pastor Allan Thomas of Parkerville
Baptist Church,
Perth, Western
Australia, for the fourfold structure I have used
herein.
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