Photo by Michael Held on Unsplash
This is another wise saying of my wife’s. ‘Don’t crush the flower
before it gets its chance to blossom.’
Now, I am not really a gardener, but I have it on good authority
that flowering plants need to be planted and tended well before they can
mature. The same theory fits with human beings, whether it is in families,
workplaces, churches, or marriages.
Ultimately this is about making the choice to believe in others,
to set them up for success, which is to recognise that our success ultimately
depends on their success.
If we would be the kind of person or father/mother or manager or
pastor or spouse who would put the other person down, we would be putting
ourselves down, because in crushing the flower before it blossoms defeats the
whole purpose of planting the flower in the first place.
Who enters into a partnership with someone to crush them?
The unfortunate thing, however, is too often we find ourselves
in these kinds of relationships. When far too early in the journey the
potential was burned. Or, over the longer run the little buds got mangled time
and again. There was no chance of recovery. And I have experienced it personally
when one fatal moment condemned what was such a promising relationship.
Reverting to the analogy of my wife, all relationships have
sanctity, and all people are sacred. Of course, we must choose the right person
and the right people to be in relationship with. And once that choice has been
made, all following choices pivot around nurturing the relationship, which is
to keep it alive, to keep it thriving, hopeful for the fruit of growth, and
hopeful to see it in full bloom at the proper time.
‘Don’t crush the flower before it gets its chance to blossom.’
Relationships will inevitably require a lot of us: patience,
kindness, self-control, faithfulness, graciousness, compassion. We can only
carry out these qualities in our closest relationships that we wish to see in
full bloom when we, ourselves, live out the Christ physiognomies of character.
Of course, it is in our best interest to protect and nurture
what is in our best interest to protect and nurture. If we don’t protect and
nurture what is within our control to protect and nurture, we will find it will
cost us dearly. This shouldn’t be our primary motivation, but it is sufficient
to be a strong motivation anyway.
There are so many kinds of persons that are naïvely susceptible
to being abused to the point of post-traumatic stress disorder. It is the vulnerable
flower that is crushed hardest and most. It is the vulnerable person who stands
to be hurt to the point of trauma.
From a pragmatic viewpoint, it can take some time before the
investments of encouragement bear fruit in the blooming of beautiful flowers.
But that is our purpose in this world: that the Kingdom might come in the
people we serve.
We know that our lives are flourishing
when those lives around us are flourishing.
when those lives around us are flourishing.
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