As we Share, we receive Care

Photo by Carlos Quintero on Unsplash

Nostalgia is something that is wired into us, and the older we get the more we need to reminisce.

This becomes particularly difficult for those who have not yet been able to reconcile a difficult life.

But the importance is established in this: the less we are able to go deeply within, to re-experience our experiences, the less we are able to be our true selves.

If we are unable to go back and rekindle our memories,
we do face a kind of crisis of identity.

One of the issues we have, especially as we age, is there are fewer people we grew up with, and even fewer parental figures, that we can share with. This in itself reminds us not only of our own mortality, but it is too stark a reminder of how fleeting life is, especially when our memories are attached to people who have passed away.

This was poignant to me as I spent some time with an older man recently.

As I lingered there with this older gentleman I suddenly realised such a basic truth that had until this time alluded me.

His heart needed to share. He needed an outlet to reminisce. Even though there was a perception within me that suggested he might be resistant, he proved more than willing to venture into those deeper, and sometimes darker, crevices of his personal history. As he recounted the story of his life, there was an immense sadness in him as he reconciled the truth, that many of these people of his past had died. It was as if that fact meant access to his memories were somehow cut off, because he didn’t have anybody to reminisce with.

But suddenly the Lord impressed on me the importance of simply listening and of being interested enough to enquire about the specifics of his journey. With me, he could still reminisce.

It showed me the immense need in each of us
to share our journey with others.

This is perhaps why life groups, group therapy sessions and AA meetings work so well; you get plenty of time to share, and you learn that such a sharing is good for the soul.

As you utter the words you had long thought to express those deeper known truths validate one’s true psyche. And as you listen to others there are parts of their story that validate your own story. Therein lies community. And when people actively listen to us, we are encouraged to actively listen to them, and within us grows empathy and compassion.

Even as we share the things we are uncomfortable with, we are given more courage to do those uncomfortable things or to accept them as they are.

As we share the things we are ashamed of or feel guilty about, as the other person hears, and does not judge us, we experience the grace of God through someone made in the image of God.

As we share things that have made us laugh or cry, or poignant moments, we begin to realise how full our lives have been, and we receive feelings of gratitude and thankfulness.

As we share with someone who is genuinely interested, our stories are validated as important, as worthy of a hearing, as true to our understanding, and all this attests to the importance of the person sharing and their worth. For we all have such intrinsic worth.

As a person shares, and we have the privilege of listening, even as we apply faith when we don’t know where they’re going, we are open to God, and to the new things He is showing us.

In these kinds of moments,
when we hold on when we want to let go,
we learn to trust God,
not to lean on our own understanding.

I used to think one of the worst things about grief was having to rehash my story time and again. It seemed like I needed to keep talking about many things that were still unreconciled in my mind and heart. Yet the wisdom of God is in the sharing, for without the repetition I could not have moved on beyond it.

See how important sharing is? It is vital in the world of therapy and healing. And it is just as vital to be in fellowship with other human beings in the process.

It is a blessing, then, to be in a situation where you need to tell about your story over and over again.

The wisdom of God is in the sharing,
for without the repetition we cannot move
beyond our grief into healing.

It is a blessing to find yourself in a community where people are genuinely interested in what your journey contains.

Once we have exhausted the need to express ourselves, once we have experienced healing I mean, God shows us the value in it, and we want to help others to share.