Life at its best comes when we have freed up emotional space to enjoy it. Life is good for others, too, when we have emotional space to spare them. With room clear for freedom, thinking and feeling are things we can do in non-pressured abundance. Yet, for most of us these ideas can appear as fleeting or dreamlike realities.
Nurtured capacities, and room in abundance, are not always available.
Sometimes we have no emotional space to spare ourselves, let alone others. We wisely let that be. It would be no good railing against such bounded forlornness.
As there is time for living emotionally free, there is also a time to be burdened.
As typical human beings, though, we prefer being free. Having choice and space with which to operate within is the nexus of connexion—with us, as persons, and others.
Freeing Up Our Own Space
We have nothing to share with others if we have nothing to share with ourselves.
And as persons, uniquely interested in our own happiness and fulfilment, we should want to have emotional space to spare. What is better for others is first best for us.
Freeing up our own space is about many things, not least of which, it’s the self-discipline to order our lives well within our capacities and not to the extent of overload, as well as having the courage to do our emotional self-work.
Dealing with our baggage is primary. If we have unattended, unaccounted-for emotions, because we haven’t reconciled conflict, neglect, abuses, guilt or shame in our lives, our emotional capacities are splintered, and split too sparingly.
The best thing about doing our emotional self-work, besides the feelings of increased confidence we enjoy, is we free up space to help others.
Having Emotional Space For Others
Most people want to help others. But, we cannot share with others what we don’t have first within ourselves.
Having made room in our lives for ourselves, we now have room for others. And this isn’t just time and logistical space. It’s the plasticity and flexibility of the mind and heart. And it’s best we remember that these capacities waver from day to day and we need to accept our capacity for sharing will vary accordingly.
Life is best when we have emotional space to spare. Freeing up emotional space gives us joy within ourselves, and the ability to love others. Being emotionally free requires us to do our emotional work. Only then will we and they benefit.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.