Friday, February 4, 2011

Not At My Best, But Getting Better

Why is it so in my distrust,

The moment of mistake,

That I take some self-disgust,

And add it to my heartache?

Somehow it is head and heart,

Nowhere are they connected,

Feared as well spread apart,

As if I hardly expected.

Forgiving ourselves for such times,

Moments of human lapse,

Brings forward the matter of healing crimes,

Acceptance abundant perhaps.


Self-recrimination is a common trait amongst the populace, mainly because we’re scared of others judging us, so we judge ourselves. It’s based in a sort of false humility. Even if it’s not based in a false humility, it’s attributable to the lowly self-esteem. We hate being wrong, and double is the mischief of embarrassment—a hurt ego.

The point is we’ll all battle with it.

Be Gentle – Then Do Better

A worthy habit to get into is being gentle with ourselves for any human lapse. Taken to God are these failures and repentance is known via a commitment to do better next time; to not give up in achieving the hitting-of-the-mark in future.

That’s the Gospel response: to allow God’s Spirit to revive us, not redeeming any semblance of condemnation for the act.

God knows how hard it is being us. He knows we battle with the flesh-felt desire to want to succeed, even more so in failure. So the Gospel has a way for us to treat these things. It’s to have it out with the Lord and then allow the Spirit’s grace to heal us.

In this we’re getting better; not at our best by a long shot—but getting better all the same. This, by simple virtue of our growing spiritual resilience.

Look up, look out, look hopefully.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

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