Saturday, June 5, 2010

When Darkness Swims Over Us


I love the power of a single image, mind-captured and set to music. The symphonic sound of Oxygene II (Jean Michel Jarre, 1976) and the graphic of the human mind stripped from within by utter paralysing confusion—when not in this state—is entirely alluring.

I felt immediately drawn to press these keys.

I know there are those who feel paralysed right now. Something has happened over their lives that has stripped them emotionally bare and numbness contains them.

I know this is possible because I’ve been there. It’s a horrible place to be in.

Let’s Picture It

It’s like there is a whole world beyond us—yet, visibly it’s known to us. But mentally and emotionally we’re stuck in a crevice and the walls are just too high. We clamour to escape the feeling but then after a while we just sit there, exhausted and utterly encased in a prism of despair.

How long this pervades is anyone’s guess. Stinking thinking has us trapped.

We certainly have absolutely no idea when this rancid spiritual weather pattern will break. The crevice that contains us is bland and uninviting and it reminds us over and again what sordid lives we have right now.

We’ve lost perspective.

Breaking Past It

Anything different. Anything to break out of this withered cage-like experience. Anything. The trouble is we don’t take to risk that well, at least in this frame.

Yet, we must.

We must fly away a little from this situation. We need to strive to find our logical minds again—to see objectively, and beyond a wholesome grief, it’s to get out of our wounded-child state.

Sure, what we’re feeling just now is real—it’s never been realer. The terrible things have indeed happened. It’s fact. It’s our experience. No one can deny this truth, least of all ourselves—and we wouldn’t want to anyway!

But still we are where we are.

But we can’t stay there.

This is often a ‘to’ing and fro’ing’ we have within ourselves. We loop endlessly within ourselves, replaying the same thoughts as if to give them a new try; but we know what the answer’s going to be. It doesn’t change.

Things won’t change unless they do.

What we’ve set up is a dangerous cognitive precedent—a sort of mental brainwashing has occurred. Looped within itself the mind has become enswathed pathologically. Trapped we must now get out.

This is not impossible to break away from.

The moment we break clean away from this horrendous loop—becoming magically aware—power is available to us... it’s in this moment we continue running; back into the arms of a God who seeks to renew us, and our minds, through the soothing of our hearts.

~*~*~*~*~

Get out into the sunshine. Close your eyes. Breathe in, hold, breath out. Plan. Get inspired. Anything will do. Keep moving forward. See what you cannot see. Hold it in faith.

Hope. This stench is being removed, even now.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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