Searchers search all their lives for the meaning of it all, only to return to the same old conclusion, with effect, basically every time. What simply “is” cannot be definitively or adequately described, broken down, analysed or summed up. All around us seems hardly real at all at times because we struggle to fully comprehend it. But, this is only part of our problem.
We also have our IDs—our identities. These make things more complicated for us. We struggle—some for an entire lifetime—to find our true selves. Not only will we struggle, we won’t succeed; not entirely—and not inevitably. Identity crises pop up like rising seas, occurring haphazardly throughout our lifetimes. Storms confront many times without due prognosis.
We have to fit into the world somehow. This is an indelible issue for us to resolve. So, we ask; we beg; we pray; we seek—in secret. We determine that the answer lies just over “that” hill; but it’s never the one we’ve just climbed. It’s always the next one, or worse a couple or six from now. This is when we lose hope.
It all sounds so depressing. Well, this is but the start of it. We do have options and opportunities to resolve these things, however.
Understanding is understanding we will never understand.
Isn’t this just more hopelessness? No. It’s empathy. Empathy for our common human condition. If we want hope for release we must first seek to understand the problem.
It’s a dance we’re in. Life’s a dance where the music and tempo of that music changes often. It catches us out. No sooner are we dancing with the right partner and getting into the swing of things, we’re onto the next song—from samba to waltz; quickstep to slow rhythm. Yet, the right dance and the right beat are found with aplomb at times and we shine like stars.
The solution is acceptance. It’s accepting the dance, accepting it changes; accepting our circumstances. It’s not being offended by the dance. The dance is, after all, just the dance.
Learning how to dance is both fun and tricky. It’s learning when to acknowledge and when to deny; when to fight and when to give in; it is learning what to do when, and then doing it.
Now to the best resolution of the problem. Our identities are central to our understanding of the meaning of life. Our task is to simply find what we should be doing and then be comfortable, even relaxed, in doing it. It one swift movement we resolve two burning issues. The confusing world at once makes sense, even for the moment. And we have our place in it, for the moment. Life can only make sense for us in the moment.
The most compelling question ever, from our personal viewpoints, is ‘What should I be doing right now?’ (“Doing” truly means thinking/saying/doing.) If our understanding of the dance is good we’ll know the answer and the answer will fit comfortably with us—we’ll accept the answer, gleefully at times.
To be happy we must find palpable solutions to the dances of life.
As the abovementioned article title suggests, we can readily picture being at a school prom and our partner encouragingly but cheekily saying to us in our momentary confusion, ‘It’s the [dance], silly.’ It’s a gripping metaphor to switch back onto the moment.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.