The power of walking away

One of the most liberating behaviours is walking away at the right time.  It’s the action of turning away from the thing, the practice, the people, the passion, that kept us in a certain bondage.

Not everything we walk away from feels like liberation, however.  A lot of the time we walk away reluctantly because have found others have chosen for us.  It involves a defined process of grief.  But those times when we decide of our own volition, rather than becoming a victim, and, we go with the reality, we walk in the way of the flow of things.  And that’s courage!  To smile as we walk.

It’s like the time that the song by Madonna, Hung Up, came out.  The lyrics that went, “Waiting for your call, baby, night and day, I’m fed up, I’m tired of waiting on you.”

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait, indeed.  And even as we wait impatiently yet learning patience, we are given time to adjust to the new situation, and, with time to think and pray, gradually we receive empowerment to walk the other way.

There are those times in conflict when it is easier to walk away, not that it is right, and when it isn’t right we may come to regret our stance.  But there are also those times in conflict where it is far wiser to walk the other way, especially when we are sorely tempted to react out of our emotions.

To hold our actions and to hold our tongue, to refrain from saying anything, whether by word or deed, is both wisdom and self-control.

There are so many times where walking away in the moment seems like defeat to others.  But wisdom works slowly.  There are actions that look foolish initially because they seem like an impotence of inaction that are shown much later to be wise.  It takes faith to act in these ways.

When is it wise to walk away?

When it’s unsafe to stay.  Decisiveness is blessed in being committed enough to consider a hard decision, implement it, and then stick with it.  When boundaries are deployed with value for clear principles, it sends a powerful message to those who would manipulate and coerce but can’t because of the obvious integrity on display.  But to walk away when it’s no longer safe to stay is also often the hardest thing to do—to follow through with an enormously long series of actions to successfully get away.  In that is immense and sustained courage.

Before harm is done.  Before a response is made that would involve regret on our behalf for the harm we might do or the harms that might be done to us.  Rather than be the aggressor or submit to what would be best to escape, walking away gives us more satisfaction and safety with each step that is made from the hazardous situation.  There’s hardly more wisdom experienced than in the relief of walking away clear of the wake of a tsunami or out of clutches of hell.

When there’s no hope.  There are situations where we wisely call time because there is no hope left.  Such a resignation isn’t a hopeless situation; on the contrary, it’s empowering to decide and then act.  If there’s one thing we trust regarding the future, it’s a consistent pattern in the past that continues in the present.

The power of walking away is the wisdom of the ages at the right time.  And we usually know it by the burgeoning and sustained relief we feel.  At times, we trust our gut and we really don’t know if our walking away will be rewarded.  Sometimes it’s the case that we walk away and have reason to reconsider.  We trust that we’ll listen to the reason of wisdom.

Obviously, there are times, and many of them, when it would neither be wise nor right to walk away.  From responsibility.  From obligation.  From the consequences of our actions.  From those who need us.  And from the hope we must retain that keeps us doing our best.

The power of walking away can very often be the power of regulating our emotions.  Much of the time in the act of walking away we know we’ve done the right thing.

Perhaps there’s nothing better than walking away when it’s the right thing to do.