Saturday, December 19, 2009


We are how we forgive.

The choices we live beside now will last forever in the code of history in relation to our families, friendships and all our other relationships. Period.

Considering the direness of that situation what choice do we have other than forgive? The bases are loaded. Choose.

A young person battles with a parent who continually betrays their trust—yet it’s the parent who acts like the hurt one. The more emotionally-stable almost-adult child of the parent has had enough; they’re just about ready to give up.

There seems no limit to the caustic, vexatious person who wantonly smashes their relationships against the wall. Like raw eggs the mess is palpable. How do we forgive in such extraneous circumstances?

One wonders how we retain our love for people who constantly do the dirty on us. Somehow hope remains; though pressed, it holds up the better, more relationally-mature person.

The person who gives up their hope is forlorn. They not only begin playing a foreign game they’re no good at—that atrocious game of spite—they surrender the only power they had: hope. And they, as a result, add not only to their own burdens, but uncannily to the burdens of innocent others.

More problems created. None relieved.

Whatever we do in life we shouldn’t add to the burden of another. It’s really as simple as that. Yet, that’s a difficult thing to accomplish—this one simple thing. We do add to the burdens of people all the time. We must endeavour not to.

The person set to forgive or not forgive has only one choice, really. Remain as they are or plunge into an abyss of entirely their own making. Continue as they’ve done or give up.

We can’t change the way we operate because those around us insist on upsetting our apple carts.

Try spite and survive only for peril. It’s really that simple.

© 2009 S. J. Wickham.

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