Wednesday, November 18, 2009

What Do I Really Want From My Relationship With You?

“I present myself in a form suitable to the relationship I wish to achieve with you.”

—Luigi Pirandello.

Some quotes I read and I go, ‘Hmm, not so much,’ whilst others smack me right between the eyes. This one above got my attention as soon as my eyes bounced over it. You see, some of the relationships I’ve been struggling with (or have struggled with) reveal my fault, resplendent in the truth of this quote.

Those people I find are hard work I seek not to engage with much—these same people see the truth in the less-than-desirable effort I invest with them. They’re either discouraged or they find reason to condemn me; whichever, it’s a bleak scene.

And this is in reality a missing-of-the-mark on my part; something for which I must take responsibility for. That goes for all of us.

The reason we don’t invest the time and effort in certain relationships is very simple—we don’t foresee it going anywhere—not for us or them.

All relationships we have deserve our full effort and attention. We might design life so as to limit our involvement with some people, but whilst they’re in our midst we have an obligation to make the best of it—no excuses.

But the reality will always be we’ll struggle for the energy required for certain people and relationships. All we can do is try to foresee when the extra effort might be required, and prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally.

People are people; we all deserve the best of the other person interacting with us, the person in our space—the one in our face.

© S. J. Wickham, 2009.

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