First, before I go any further, let’s get the topic of “unfaithfulness” out of the way. It’s not just about sexual infidelity, but that is a clear example of unfaithfulness. What about abuse? Can you see how that’s unfaithfulness to the covenant of marriage? Abuse is a prime example of unfaithfulness.
God allows for divorce. That’s biblical. It goes way back to Moses. And the context Jesus speaks about when it comes to divorce is he’s speaking to the MEN. He’s talking to a culture where men frivolously disposed of their wives, and Jesus warns these men that the only way they have grounds to divorce their wives is through her “sexual immorality.” (Matthew 19:9)
Unfortunately, the church especially has made a lot of women (and men) feel inferior for divorcing for the right reasons — where Jesus would have released them long ago.
Staying in abusive marriages is a travesty, it’s not God’s design. Staying in an abusive marriage is putting up with unfaithfulness because partners promised to treat each other better than that. The abusive partner is unfaithful, just a different variety of unfaithfulness than sexual infidelity.
God does not “hate” divorce (God “divorced” unfaithful Israel in Jeremiah 3:8), and it’s one of the best things to happen to Bible interpretation in the past 10 years that Malachi 2:16 has been corrected. I won’t go into it here because it’s so well covered, you’d find good articles in a simple internet search.
God gives the remedy of divorce for the person — let’s say, in 30 percent of cases — that’s being abused. That’s right. God made a way for those who are suffering in their marriages to live in freedom where their own sense of faithfulness might be honoured in a different arrangement, either as singles or in another marriage where they might be respected and loved.
That’s the heart of God. The heart of God is behind the heart of divorce.
The person who brings their devotion to others in humility — who is entirely prepared for the covenant of marriage — who gives their gift in the fullness of unconditional love — yet is trampled, has the right of being coupled with someone they’d be equally yoked with.
Gentle, safe, gracious, patient, kind people are to be with people who are gentle, safe, gracious, patient, and kind. Marriage is meant to be an institution whereby partners give and receive in reciprocal fashion, so they are equally yoked. Those who take responsibility for their own behaviours, for instance, ought to be blessed to be partnered with a partner of equal capacity for taking responsibility for their behaviours.
God does not hate divorce but allows for it in situations where a person finds they married someone who is nothing like they promised to be. That’s the heart of Jesus’ teaching. It’s biblical.
It’s about time we, as Christians, turned our judging minds back in and upon ourselves when we judge a divorced person for what might be prejudged as moral weakness when their capacity to “walk” is actually more of a strength in honouring God to the extent that their partner needed to experience the consequences of their unfaithfulness.
Is divorce the best outcome for a marriage? Clearly no. But justice is important to God. For those who would flout their promises, especially those curating an image as a “good” marriage partner and aren’t, there’s no justice in their partner suffering continual injustice.
It’s better for a faithful one to be freed of the burden of unfaithfulness than to endure what is a continual injustice.
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