Who I have in mind right now is men, but this really applies to all. Perhaps for men reading, use this as a lens for reflection, even as I reflect afresh on my own performance as a man, not only in marriage, but as a human being relating with other human beings while my light flickers bright.
Consider, beforehand, how fleeting is your life. This is important, for we must always live in the light of eternity, for we all die. When we die, others will experience loss, just as we experience loss when those we love die. Your light flickers just now, but you are temporary. Just acknowledge that. It changes things.
Such a reflection causes us to search the known universe for the answer to the question, “What on earth am I here for (for this short time)?”
It’s a question that leaves us at a loss for answer, apart from the simplest answer we embarked on that journey with.
That initial answer, whether we acknowledged it or not is beside the point, never changes, and it’s the only answer worth finding.
The answer to the question, “What on earth am I here for (for this short time)?” is love—to issue and execute a love of unconditional acceptance toward all, but especially toward those who are kin in this life!
The only thing that stands in our way is the
presence of generational trauma in our lives.
It’s a question designed to humble us under the weighty glory of a reality that floors us—we live and die. Our task is to wrestle with those bonds of generational trauma and break clear of them so we live more and more the love of unconditional acceptance toward ourselves and others.
I’m laying this out because it’s serious—you really must consider this if your life is to count in eternity’s reckoning. What’s the use of three-score-and-ten or four-score-and-ten and MISSING the whole concept of life that was supposed to penetrate your life and being?
Thank you for bearing with me,
we’re getting there,
it just takes some time to set the context properly.
~
The meaning of all our lives is to love others with an unconditional acceptance, so not only do we do no harm, but we sow the seed of love forward so others can process their trauma.
Life is innately traumatising without love—where the manipulated order of conditional acceptance holds sway, at best. At worst, there’s no acceptance at all. Let’s get this straight: life is innately traumatising when there is a void of the love of unconditional acceptance.
Let me explain what unconditional acceptance is: it is extending the fruit of the Spirit kindness, patience, gentleness, and grace to all-comers regardless of how they reciprocate, and it’s a commitment to these four ideals especially to those in our homes—in those quiet, secret places where people often don’t treat people well.
It’s the commitment to be a cycle breaker, and it’s the commitment to break toxic cycles, even if we get it wrong occasionally and need to apologise frequently. Have you thought about the power of apology, the humility in it, to restore people to love through the healing of trauma? Apology communicates justice and love powerfully. It’s a vital tool in loving with unconditional acceptance.
Narcissists traumatise people because they cannot and will not ever apologise.
It’s the commitment of humility, of serving people in the quiet places where nobody especially notices. It’s the commitment and the work that says, “This cycle of abuse and trauma ends with me!”
The love of unconditional acceptance is especially needed in men these days, and we need men who lead in the humility that chooses sacrificial service, not in big noting themselves with entitlement.
The entitlement
that exploits
without empathy
(narcissism)
breeds trauma exponentially.
The only hope we have is that we consistently deploy the love of unconditional acceptance which is kindness, patience, gentleness, and grace at all times, and working through our own triggers so we protect ourselves and others when we, ourselves, are vulnerable.
The solution to generational trauma, so that the cycle stops with us, is the propagation of our own healing into the healing of others. It can’t be more simply put than consistently loving others with unconditional acceptance.
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