Collaboration only occurs where there’s mutual trust

It’s amazing how many people will expect to be collaborated with when what exists is a situation of low trust.

Trust and respect coalesce to such a degree that unless respect is given trust isn’t necessarily earned.  And don’t mistake it for one moment, trust and respect do need to be earned.  They are reciprocal arrangements.  But that doesn’t mean just because we trust or respect others that that will be returned to us.

The mark of an immature person is someone who expects to be trusted when they don’t extend that trust, or they expect to be respected but do not offer that same respect.

The mature person on the other hand looks to develop allegiances and extend trust, until the situation arises where a person demonstrates they can’t be trusted.  Then it’s a case that safe boundaries are required.

If we are expecting to be involved in cooperation and collaboration, what we must first realise is that we must be trustworthy, and we must trust the other party.

Truly nothing is harder than when, from a relational perspective, there is no trust, because nothing can be achieved relationally speaking without the cooperation of trust.

It is madness to expect someone to trust you when you won’t trust or respect them.  Not only madness, but immaturity, and when pushed to the extreme it’s narcissism.

There is literally no limit to the amount of cooperation and collaboration possible in a relational setting.  The more we trust people and the more they do to respect that trust, the more trust we can extend, and the more they feel trusted.

Such relationships truly are the meaning of life, but of course relationships need the capacities of humility and apology for the inevitable times when we disappoint people or they disappoint us, where we or they don’t measure up, when we or they don’t foresee problems, etc.

Of course, a crucial part of all of this is realistic expectations, and humility exercised by all parties, as all parties hopefully are able to look inward, and reflect on what they personally can do better, rather the look out outward and blame others.

The chief enemy in the relational realm is the spirit of entitlement, but the chief help is an attitude of service.

Simply put, if we expect others to cooperate and collaborate with us, we need to be trustworthy.