For every abuse that’s suffered there is the temptation to respond the wrong way. This is called reactive abuse — an abuse that is done as a reaction to an abuse. Abusers can often push, prod and provoke such a reaction. And that reaction can so often be seen AS the abuse and not a reaction of being pushed too far (which is so often unseen).
So with that let me share with you a vision I got.
A contractor was asked to quote on the building of a wall for a residential site a couple owned. He quoted them $4,000, they accepted the quote in writing, and then they arranged for the date he would come and build the brick wall.
A $1,000 deposit was paid. The bricklayer came, set up and built the wall. It took him a full day to do it and he had also provided all the materials.
Once the job was done, standing there admiring his work, the female partner of the couple came out and said, “It’s not worth $4,000; we will only give you another $1,000.” The bricklayer sought to check with the male partner, whom agreed that only $2,000 would be paid for the wall — half the agreed amount!
The bricklayer was infuriated and was so tempted to begin to damage the wall he’d so carefully constructed. But being Christian and being in the discipline of asking God what he should do, the bricklayer instinctively blurted out with a genuine smile, “It’s okay, your account is paid in full.”
The couple, expecting a fight, stood there, looked at each other, and appeared speechless. Their behaviour seemed to suggest that they had deliberately goaded the bricklayer. It backfired on them.
The way the bricklayer saw it was that his sanity and reputation were of infinitely more value than the $3,000 he was out of pocket. That bought him the right to leave the property in peace having ‘blessed’ the manipulative couple in a way that they had no answer. And he wasn’t provoked into an action that he could have regretted for the rest of his life.
So many of us have been provoked into regretful actions; probably the majority of us have succumbed. Some of those actions have generated consequences that resounded for years afterward.
The good news, especially if we find ourselves still in a problematic relationship, is we have today and tomorrow’s opportunity to heap burning coals on the perpetrator’s head. It’s a golden opportunity to exact the kind of revenge that says, “You can’t provoke me; but I can astonish you with a love you don’t deserve and walk away with my head held high having experienced the power of God... yes, I can do this! I can completely perplex you with a love you know nothing about.”
How much more compelling to leave a toxic relationship by astonishing the abuser with an act of goodness that can only come from God.
The reality is we only need to experience this power of God ONCE to know just how compellingly obvious it is WHERE this power came from. This is a power that is worth more than anything that can be bought, and it’s the pinnacle of life experience that every benevolent person ought to experience at least once in their lifetime.
Experience this thing once and there is great encouragement to make it more a practice.
Photo by Thom Milkovic on Unsplash
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