The man who always helped so much

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This article is not what it seems nor is much of the world. There is a certain discernment required in life to see the deeper goodness and evil in it.

See if you can read anything below that seems inappropriate:

There was once a man who was very proficient at everything he did. He was always helping others, especially those who were weak. He’d be the last person to say it, but those who knew him were actually lucky to have him. As onlookers to his life observed, he was quite inspirational. He always seemed to have the best in mind for other people. You would only need to ask him, and he would tell how much he thought they were trying. He, himself, seemed so much to be a model of humility, so self-effacing it made you take notice. This man was the epitome of charm. You felt it an honour to know him.

Let’s take some time interrogating what the description above could really be saying:

There was once a man who was very proficient at everything he did… Everything that you saw, for there is much you don’t and won’t see.

He was always helping others, especially those who were weak… yes, this man pictures most others as weak to protect his own elevated (false) identity; others need to be seen as weak and inferior to him, and if they show strength he is immediately threatened.

He’d be the last person to say it, but (he certainly thinks it!) those who knew him were actually lucky to have him… he genuinely thinks he is a blessing to everyone, and pity you if you have a different perception.

As onlookers to his life observed, he was quite inspirational… the onlookers never quite get close enough to see his double-sided life in full throe… if they did, they might get quite a shock. One who has an image to protect (hide) is scary when they’re truly discovered.

He always seemed to have the best in mind for other people… that’s his purpose and his life, to nurture an image as the knight in shining armour coming to your emotional rescue. It’s a pity that he can be an emotional villain.

You would only need to ask him, and he would tell how much he thought they were trying… yes, they try, but they fail, because they’re weak. This is how he thinks of you and I! This is how he thinks of his partner. Their forlorn efforts are their destiny in his eyes. They cannot succeed. Only he can.

He, himself, seemed so much to be a model of humility, so self-effacing it made you take notice… it’s his purpose and his life to be noticed. He loves to be noticed. He hates it when he’s inconspicuous. And the façade of humility is a veneer overlay covering pride. Remember, he’s learned his trade well. He’s mastered the skill — not the character — of humility. Ironically, he can never be characterised as humble. He doesn’t have any grasp on vulnerability. (But he is particularly cunning if he can be ‘vulnerable’ too!)

This man was the epitome of charm. You felt it an honour to know him… of course you feel it’s an honour to know him. It’s his charm that has won you over. It’s his charm that has everyone else won over when you have ‘access’ to the real him.

It is genuinely hard to detect the differences between an abuser and an authentically well-healed person. The trouble is the abuser has learned to put on the well-healed person — they’ve served their apprenticeship, through the abuse they suffered together with their study of how to manipulate their world to compensate for what they lack, and they learned their ‘trade’ well.

Perhaps one way of differentiating the authentic from the fraudster is their response if we challenged them with this. Ironically, the authentic sees themselves as a fraud, but the fraud cannot see themselves as anything but authentic. Can you now see how important it is for all of us to know and accept we’re sinners?

It is often better for us to match up with someone who is definitely not charmingly of brilliant character. It is better that they have visible chinks in their armour. We should thank God for the people in our midst who are WYSIWYG… what-you-see-is-what-you-get. Especially if they’re caring and respectful into the bargain.

Disclaimer: It is not always a ‘he’, but most of the time it is.