Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Blessing In Loss for Having Responded Well In Grief

Given the situation of loss how can it be that we might be blessed? How can something so drastically dysfunctional turn out the best it possibly could, given the circumstances?
Before we experience loss, we may wonder how we might cope. It’s probably a subconscious thought.
The reality is there’s only one thing worse than loss. It’s the grief that has us responding the wrong way.
We could well be curious if we’ll pass life’s test of us. Kylie Jones, a wife whose husband Colin became Anne when he identified as a woman [story here], experienced that reality of wondering how she, when devastated, might respond:
“When it all happened, I discovered I was the person I hoped I would be, that I was supportive, that I was loving, and that I could help. I didn’t get angry. I tried to be the best support I could be, for Anne and my girls. And I think that’s all you can hope to do… be the best person you can be.”
Ms. Jones, in an untenable situation, having not only lost her husband, but reconciling a family situation where her three daughters needed her more than ever, had worked out the most important thing she could do — despite how she felt herself. She did get help. She didn’t deny what she was feeling. But she did have to put her own needs to the side in order to be there for her family — an inspirational and selfless (but still an imperfect) mother.
Ms. Jones’ grief was and is real. The following quote shows us something of the grief that resonates in all our stories, post-loss, a component of grief that we never quite adjust to:
“This is not the life I expected to have… I keep imagining what my life should have been.”
That’s how loss punctuates life. Grief in this way feels like the regret that is beyond any of our actions or responses. It feels like the loss have been done to us. But, still, when we’ve responded the best we possibly can, an abiding peace is the blessing we enjoy despite any pain we might endure.
***
The grace that responds well to the grief of loss gives us greater comfort than we think.
Our utmost prayer in facing life’s greatest challenge is to survive the test by struggling well in response. Nothing pleases God more, and He lets us know through the blessing we receive.
The reality regarding our godly response is God has given us to grace to respond that way. Sure, obedience is never easy, but without the wisdom of grace none of us would not respond well, ever.

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