When All You Should Do Is Be Gentle With Yourself

I am doing the best I can with what I have
in this moment and that is all I can expect
of anyone including me.

Reflect over those words. They are words of high wisdom in several circumstances of life. Situations like the moments and days after sudden news, at times of imminent loss, when the unanticipated moment is cast forth, breaking-in to our experience. On whole days when, we may feel we should be over the grief, but it assails us as painfully as ever. At times when we’re overwhelmed for some reason, whether that reason can be explained or not.

At times like that:

I am doing the best I can… we only have the present moment and the attributions of our best perception with which to adapt to. We’ve made an assessment of everything we have and we give it all the best we can. We’re all doing the best we can given who we are.

… with what I have in this moment… the resources we have at any time can often be improved as we draw on any energy reserves we have. But when those energy reserves are already maxed out, where we have what we have and nothing more, it’s time to back off the pressure and be gentle with ourselves.

… that is all I can expect of anyone including me. It is. We cannot expect ourselves or anyone else to ‘snap out of it’ just because it makes us feel more comfortable. Sure, a person might respond to that sort of pressure out of fear, but it’s nowhere near the best way to deal with emotions that cannot bear reality.