“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Fear, deep and gripping, is what we can experience when a door is slammed shut in our face—when we lose our job; when a relationship suddenly ends; when an opportunity we hoped for doesn’t materialise.
We are cast long way from our comfort zone. When things have been forced beyond our will, and we are in a spot we don’t want to be in, there is fear there as well as fear elsewhere—fear everywhere we look. We don’t sense the truth in the Helen Keller quote, above.
Besides the grief we will inevitably feel, which is an oft overwhelming process all its own, our eyes can glance the opportunity for change, especially in the positive and hopeful moment.
Tapping into Our Resilience When We Are Strong
We are more resilient than we often give ourselves credit for.
Most of the time we cannot predict when we will feel resilient, and when we are we need to be diligent to embrace the moment and be bold enough to knock on those doors that might already be slightly ajar.
It’s in these moments that we turn from the closed doors in our lives and we face the new door, whatever that may be. When we feel strong or when we have the capacity we design and execute a process for meeting the new door.
The strangest thing about being open-minded about open doors is we get to see those doors; otherwise we wouldn’t notice them if we were so focused on the closed door.
Allowing Ourselves Moments of Grief
None of the above is saying we can’t allow ourselves our moments of grief. Indeed, we need to be fair on ourselves, because it’s in these moments that we honour the truth of the pain in our lives.
The more we can be honest about these moments of grief, allowing ourselves to feel what we feel, the quicker the recovery into moments of hopefulness.
Not that we want to leap out of our moments of grief. But as we acknowledge ourselves, not denying, not being angry, not bargaining, but just sitting in the grief, allowing the tears to purge us of our anguish, we are freed. Sitting in our grief, when we need to do it, is therapy.
“As one door closes, another one opens” may be a cliché, but it’s true. When things go against us in life it does us no harm to look to the next thing, and such a hopeful approach generally works. Let us be patient, however, to walk through the right door.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.