Saturday, October 24, 2009

When Our Expectations Fly All the Way Home

“We’re living wisely when our expectations are super-aligned with our possible realities, and consistently so.”

I’m often surprised (after the event) at how easily I get internally frustrated in little life situations. I might have several things to do at once, and then I get an innocently enough positioned query from someone who’s doing nothing wrong in interrupting me; yet I’m at times so innately tempted to blow them off. These are, in a sense, incompatible goals and they fly in the face of my often unthought-of, subconsciously laid expectations.

I’m a pretty simple creature, really, and you might relate because at source, we’re all pretty simple creatures. We’re easily put off and our unthought-of expectations often wreak havoc with our happiness—because we’re not aware of them, and because we’re not disciplined enough to conform them to our reality—the reality none of us can totally control.

Does life success and happiness get any more complicated, from an intrapersonal viewpoint, than aligning our expectations with reality? Think about it. When we’ve aligned our expectations to the probable or likely realities before us we’re more likely to be presented with outcomes fitted to our perceptions of those realities.

Expectations are never more importantly laid or explored than in our relationships—where unsaid expectations often reign, wrecking havoc, over our happiness and that of others’ too.

Hitting the targets of life instead of missing them is based in a deeper understanding of the forces at play—and this, from a process of reflection, awareness and consideration. It prepares in a way that also has room for variance in outcome.

Imagine if we simply took some five minute breaks each day to think about our expectations for the immediate future—that hour; the next; the day...

We’d almost certainly be more content and simultaneously have the tools and the where-with-all to embark peacefully upon life.

© S. J. Wickham, 2009.

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