“We can always complain about our parents, but until we actually get involved in running our own families, we don’t know how difficult the process can be.” –Uma Thurman.
It can never really be truthfully said that the Hollywood life is a fairy tale life, as a generalisation I mean, certainly if Uma Thurman’s life is anything to go by. Like so many stars she’s had her fair share of ups and down, broken relationships, poor self-image problems and the like. The stars are no different to us—“life” happens to each one, regardless of income and affluence.
Parenting too happens to all equally. Suddenly when we’ve “acquired” a little bundle of joy we realise those dreamy large goals and concepts are founded somewhat on shaky ground. This is not a bad thing—it’s just a slip that every would-be parent makes.
Parenting’s something that brings us all down to earth. And thankfully so. We get a glimpse of what it’s truly like to be the engineer, responsible for life itself.
As parents, we sink or swim as we’re reminded daily of what it’s like to fail. We grow and emerge better people or we begin drowning in a paradoxical world of denial and despair—overcome it seems by our own prevailing inadequacies and doubt. This is a horrible place to be; only able to see the negative truth or not wanting to see at all—all the time, the positive truth awaits a hearing—albeit, in limbo.
We can just as easily use this journey as parent-to-child as a catapult to personal greatness!—all that stands in the breech is a subtle mindset change; a paradigm of possibility, space and freedom. One moment after the other we’re creating a personal history by which we’ll be known. We’re creators of our own destinies.
Parenting seems to me to be about coming to a higher realisation of things—all things in balance; all things interdependent; all things mattering, yet nothing overwhelming.
We must find a personal way of enjoying the journey.
© S. J. Wickham, 2009.