Testing and the Calm Before the Test

There’s a place of peace that precedes a wealth of stormy testing — God never begins before we’re ready.

So, if you’re tested in a dark night surround, take heart, you’re ready for it. God has deemed you competent for it; though many times we can feel incompetent — failure becoming us for the sharp abyss of self-doubt. Still, it remains; with a quick reminder to the affirmative we’re actually good for the testing. It’s purposed for our growth.

If God brings the test we should know, intellectually, we’re ready.

Testing – A Momentous Occasion

As we embark, we learn as we go. That’s okay.

Momentary failure is not the final word — we should never pronounce that evil upon ourselves.

Instead, we go forth knowing full well the enormity, the value, and the fear involved, in and of the testing. We anticipate it. But, let’s understand, there’s no home-ground advantage anymore; we’re playing away.

If we don’t underestimate it or be overawed by it, we’re mentally and physically ready. Strength has an unremitting ruthlessly honest balance about it.

In God’s name we can succeed, as we recall the words of Winston Churchill: “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”

The perception of testing is that it’s hell. Just as easily, however, we can fast-forward to the benefit we’re already receiving from it.

***

Now, appreciate the calm that comes before arduous times. Rest and prepare.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

A Meditation on “Invictus”

“It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.”

~William Ernest Henley.

Some well-learned Christians I know don’t subscribe very much to this poem of Henley’s from 1875 (published in 1892). I imagine they think its ‘theology’ is askew and tantamount to some form of heresy, or that it’s problematic at best.

Yet, like many inspirational poems and works talking of victory against the odds, there is the countering view that all of these speak volumes for the resilience that is made known only via the power of God. We call this the activity of faith, or requiring same to succeed.

Thankfulness to the “gods”

Without casting aspersions regarding the author’s beliefs it is clear here that he is thankful for the placement, and his ownership — in the midst of darkness and despair — of his “unconquerable soul,” a thing that has not betrayed him, despite the nemesis the mind has obviously been.

We are reminded, perhaps, that the strength of our own souls is vaster than we can imagine from the more docile side of any gargantuan journey.

The Evidence of Wounding

The second quatrain speaks of the injuries and the effects; even though the harsh reality is not escaped, and though injuries continue to be known, none of these have caused the surrendering of the spirit.

This helps us understand, that in our own wounding, the story’s not finished. It only finishes when we choose to give up, though at times this is also academic, meaning that choosing to accept defeat graciously is sometimes a glorious victory all its own!

To have “not winced nor cried aloud” is not so much the denial of the pain as it is the knowledge that to give into the pain would compromise the journey. The poet has indelible knowledge of the pain. The pain is not denied.

Now the Threat of Death

Whether it’s actual physical death or the concept of some other form of ‘death’ — for instance, a competitive endeavour where the risk is losing something very significant — means little in terms of this poem. The response from the protagonist is the same. They are “unafraid” because their courage has made them that way. They’ve resolved to be unafraid. Courage is vested despite fear, not in the absence of fear.

We’re tempted into many a fear ourselves, and it is our choice to give into this fear or go beyond it and challenge the reason and logic of the fear, chancing all in any event, for there’s actually little to lose. We know we cannot succeed if we’re bent over in fear, and our only chance in this dire mess is to just keep going.

God’s Making the Impossible, Possible Again

The narrowness of our chances of success and the record of our numerous failures matters less if we know our capacity and have faith in our capabilities. And then too we are blessed to have the confidence to extend our capacities and capabilities.

Being the masters of our fates and the captains of our souls is not so much relegating God to second place as it is agreeing with God that his power is vested in us via faith.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Graphic Credit: Late Night Early Morning.

Full Poem: Invictus.

Everything with Humility and Intention

Let us be always, whether via action or inaction, people of humility and intention.

This intention is out of good intent, hardly self-serving; more self-effacing.

We have enough strength of our own, and that buoyed of God, to deal in life with deliberation and intent, always in control of that which we do or don’t do.

It’s far worse to find ourselves swept up in another wind — one apart from our own God-divined knowledge — that is, swept up in a whirlwind and out of conscious control. All we can do in these circumstances (which is enough, mind you) is trust in God and pray.

And yet, for both these places of spiritual circumstance — in control and not — we’re best reliant on God; in strength or in weakness.

This article is directed toward circumstances of control; much of life is spent here as anywhere. (But our locus of control [whether we see ourselves as being ‘in control’ or ‘not’] must also agree that we’re ‘in control’.)

A Humble Intent

The appropriately self-effacing person, who’s also operating with intent, has God’s power on their side. They’re continually praying; seeking God’s face. And if they’re not praying as such they may still know with discernment what God’s will is. There is a God-sense on-board.

Humility is the key divide characterising intent and splitting action from inaction. It is the input of temperament fuelling discernment. Weighing right from wrong in the manner of accord and circumstance is the soul prepared for action, whether that is action or inaction. Many times the best action is inaction.

Intention is Power

When intention is retained (as it’s described above; which is now our assumption) and chosen as a deliberate way things are approached, there is Spiritual power known.

POSITIVE INTENT[1] + HUMILITY = POWER.

“Power” is an elusive concept, much the same as Happiness is. The power that’s described here is a spiritual power, not a sense of power that the world connects with. This is a virtuous or good power. People who have this power are trustworthy, full of quiet confidence, love and integrity. They’re advocates not destroyers.

The important thing for those who are keen on establishing this virtuous power in their lives is these ingredients — positive intent and humility — will get them there. God is with them in this, for this is the discernment and establishment of God’s will.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Graphic Credit: http://hight3ch.com/yellow-laser-pointer/

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[1] “Positive Intent” here means toward either action or inaction, dependent on the discerned circumstances.

Letting the Pain Out

When we’re sad or depressed, we like it when the weather agrees. Rain and rustic skies assist the spirit within to feel at home.

Mary’s husband died in a workplace accident. But there was no escape into her grief with her young children around. She’d wait until their eyes gave way to dreams, then slowly let the pain out — tears long borne on a weary, torn heart. Some sprinkling solace at last. God becomes real in these moments.

Sadness is nothing to feel sad about when we know there are others out there, too, beckoning gloomy days.

Tears must come in such sadness; that or anger for being cheated of cherished moments alone with the Spirit of our hearts.

We’re warned. Reject the need to spill our sullenness and soon there’s anger — the cheapening of emotion; damage abounding.

Find a safe place and let the pain out. Trust authenticity. It’s all we have. It’s all we need.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Strengthening Our Weakness

We all suffer crises of the heart or constitution or resolve. Then we find ourselves entering our weakness. Periodically we’re singled out for testing and re-proving; this seems to be a fact of life for every person.

The following aphorism by Balthasar Gracian makes clear sense but I have broken it up into chunks in quotation marks to further explore how we overcome perplexing difficulties in life.

“In great crises there is no better companion than a bold heart, and if it becomes weak it must be strengthened from the neighbouring parts.”

We know it to be nothing short of inspiring when we conquer difficulties with a bold heart.

When we’re not so bold, awareness and decisiveness seem to be the keys. The only ‘neighbouring part’ that might assist the heart during weaker times is the mind; the mind might also facilitate other parts.

The mind can be helpful because it can be grown strong, decisive, and wilfully patient. Decisiveness, other than awareness, is the big issue here.

“Worries die away before a person who asserts themselves.”

Here is a poignant lesson: Never again should we not assert ourselves.

Fear, anxiety and worry all evaporate in the sight of faith — the courage of faith to act beyond what is seen in the here and now. It’s a matter of training. We must repetitively remind, train, even ‘brainwash’ ourselves to respond with assertion and faith as much as we can when we’re confounded with difficulty. As Oswald Chambers said, and I love to quote, “If there is no strain, there is no strength.” We cannot overcome if we don’t try.

“One must not surrender to misfortune [losing hope], or else it would become intolerable.”

What carries on from this is obvious. A sinkhole effect is produced. Simply put, we go down the gurgler. Once we’ve lost hope our very essence is removed and all meaning disappears. We’re forlorn and embanked with sorrow at the soul level. Surrendering to the situation is clearly the wrong thing to do, tactically.

Enter the paradox...

We should surrender, however, but... we should surrender only to one thing — to the being and will of God; for his grace and strength is more than enough for us.

People who know the Holy Spirit and know how to tap into this enormous energy reservoir can do the most miraculous things (with very limited resources) in the name of their God.

“Many people do not help themselves in their troubles, and double their weight by not knowing how to bear them.”

Bearing under something takes us directly to the ancient meaning of the equivalent word for patience in Greek. Sometimes what helps is getting out of the way. If we add our own negative perceptions or lack of patience to the problems at hand we make life even harder.

Patient endurance is the answer. If we endure the present moment we will live to laugh about it, not regretting our actions, wasted thought or energy.

“The person that knows themself knows how to strengthen his or her weakness, and the wise person conquers everything, even the stars in their courses.”

Nothing stands in the way of the person who can readily strengthen their weakness.

To do this we must be courageous enough to get to know our true selves intimately, being honest about the faults we see. This is no small step. It cannot be understated. It’s a journey all must take, alone.

It takes us a significant portion of courage to bear with the true picture that is “me, and what is my weakness”. We don’t like to see it. It takes courage to get there and not run away and simply deal with it.

Once we commit to identifying and addressing or strengthening our weaknesses, one at a time, we can grow as persons.

Quotes modified to provide gender inclusivity.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Celebrating a Sadness

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

~George Bernard Shaw.

A safe life or a daring life; what’s it to be?

During a recent bout of inexplicable sadness, like a fleeting period of gloominess, I just couldn’t put my finger on what exactly it was that was causing my grief. It was certainly the feeling of failure, but a broad and uncharted failure, and too many things of ranging sadness to really grasp.

After a short time I reacted at myself in anger — the customary and predictable secondary emotion masking the primary sadness. It wasn’t long, however, before I slunk back into my quiet, resigned and forlorn state.

The Gentle Allure of Sadness

We have to be careful with sadness for we’re drawn into a sinkhole very quickly. However, we also need to experience our raw sadness. That takes courage.

It’s the person who can take an awkward pleasure like sadness and conform that beast to truth that we admire. They take the pattern of failure, however acute or chronic, and they fashion it to suit their purposes. They gain even more usefulness out of it.

But in doing this, they warrant the beast freedom knowing the nemesis they deal with from the outset; a strange friend home at honesty. Sadness has a chunky sort of gait about it; its digestibility is forever questionable.

Experience is Primary to Celebration

We cannot fully vindicate celebration without going through the experience of the thing. We cannot, therefore, enjoy the product of our sadness without experiencing it, just as we cannot celebrate them or our destination from the other side without journey into or through it.

It is a wise and blessed person who, in the midst of it, can celebrate their sadness mid throe.

Just as wise and blessed is the person who actually celebrates the sadness from the other ‘got through’ side.

Pain can be friend; but only with God’s grace sponsoring the project.

Failure is not the end... it’s actually an important beginning.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

What to Do About Days/Weeks to Forget

This is just the point. When we have a day or week to forget, why don’t we?

Sure, it’s good to dredge out of it what can be learned, but anything more is burden unnecessary.

But, we inevitably struggle to ‘build that bridge’ over our still-troubled consciences; somehow, that nagging voice in our heads — the vacuous feeling in our hearts — continues to remind, and condemn. In some ways we can know this as our spiritual nemesis getting one or five up on us.

Being Reconciled to Truth

Forgiving ourselves for the embarrassing mistakes or repetitive failures is somehow reconciling us to the truth — once our best restitutions are made — so that we believe, and continually refer to, that truth. These truths are:

1. We can’t rewind time. What’s done is done. Stressing won’t fix anything.

2. We all make mistakes — most obviously because we lack all the information and we’re, at times, affected emotionally.

3. We, most often, are our cruellest judges. Others affected aren’t usually consumed by these events as we are. They’re consumed more by what’s going inside their minds and hearts; it’s always different to what we anticipate they’re thinking about.

4. We tried our best at the time; the fact bears consideration — we’re not always on top of our game. We know nobody’s perfect, so why do we place ourselves up against such a lofty and unattainable standard?

5. All our ‘sins’ are forgivable — our God exists, under the New Covenant regime, to reinforce that condemnation and self-condemnation are crushed by the power of grace. To hold onto such condemnation is to actually disobey God.

6. We are hurt because we love, or we hurt because we need love. These two explain the basis of so many of our actions. Love is acceptance, security, wellbeing, harmony, the enjoyment of trust and respect. Whenever these are compromised — by us or others — we are sent into a volley of confusion because love is temporarily not ours. We scramble to regain it.

7. We are always trying — sometimes not enough; sometimes too much. Effort is a strange reality; a veritable knife edge. Sitting there on the edge, but without such pressure to cut us, is the place of God’s redeeming strength. But when we’ve fallen short or overblown things via effort, we understand it’s a lack of judgment; that’s all. Staying safely upon this knife edge is almost impossible.

Self-forgiveness is the great thing God wants us to experience. Why do we spend time and effort forgiving others and yet struggle to forgive ourselves?

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Beating Anxious Moments

Seasons and moments of anxiety come unexpectedly. They trample us underfoot. My anxieties come generally with an overload of issues, always seemingly important. But these issues are usually symptoms revealing a deeper cause.

Practically, though, the deeper cause is irrelevant in the moment of panic. A more short-term priority is at hand — to beat the stridency of the anxious instant that threatens to overwhelm our entire inner worlds.

What can we do?

1. Revert consciously to the reasonable mind. When we think about the power of the conscious mind we can actually control a lot of things we think about. But we can only do this if we’re consciously aware of the power we have to change our minds. From the negative or damaging mindset we shift into a positive, rational mindset. Having done this we’ve managed the moment, and we have a way of managing all the individual moments as part of a series of moments sequentially connected.

2. Transform thinking to the humorous mindset. Many people who struggle with anxiety or depression find it impossible to be humorous. But to understand that humour brings relativity into our lives is itself a power to be reckoned with. Humour works quite miraculously if it can be afforded.

3. Understand the heart that underpins the mind. Up until now we’ve spoken about the mind and its power, but these subjects are always betrayed until we understand that the heart plays the pivotal role. The heart retains the deeper cause. We simply enquire of it, praying to God for insight into the mysteries of our hearts. Soon the knowledge of insight will come. Then we can deal with it.

4. Gentleness with ourselves is crucial. Keeping things as simple and structured as we can helps us be ordered and, therefore, patient. We’re blessed to know our inner flaws — those things that make us anything but gentle with ourselves. Self-awareness is the inspiration of action. Reverting to simple fixes that calm the panicked vessel within will be rewarded.

Power of the Reasonable Mind

All of these suggestions above reinforce the importance of staying ourselves in the mode of the reasonable mind.

This is to be rational, responsible, realistic, logical and reasonable; to think is to be.

The more we can manually flip our thinking back to these, keeping life simple in the process, the more we find God empowering us to change our minds.

When we realise that changing our minds is a capability we all have, the theory of freedom from bondage is known. Then it’s a matter of having the discipline to practice it.

The more continually we engage with this awareness, the more we can respond.

Anxiety and Faith

Overcoming anxiety — the series of anxious moments all threaded together or intermittently — is the meeting of the mind in truth-filled rationality. What we can see we can believe.

Even better to believe in those good things we cannot see; those we know to be truths.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Stay Where the Power Is

There is power in all our lives. If we feel it’s evaporated we need to find it again. If we can access it, great!

This power that comes from God is rooted in the ability to happily live the virtuous life; to be, among other things, patient and kind and compassionate and humble.

We’d not generally think that power comes from virtue, but mysteriously it does. This power to give away power is confounding to the ‘rational’ person. It’s not a logical power, but it’s one that empowers the mind to think in power; the heart to feel in power.

This power takes pleasure seeking no power for itself — it rejects such power.

Our challenge is to find this power and stay where it is.

We find and retain this power — to act with joyous virtuosity — as we think and focus on virtue. It’s remarkably simple, this power. So simple we can miss it.

Take this power by giving. Enjoy it by knowing what to do, where to be, how to feel. Retain it preciously.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Naked Light of Reason

Oh when the truth suddenly dawns. We can look at something in one mood, then look at it in another; we get two completely different results. Perception plays tricks sometimes.

The naked light of reason is that humbling sense of insight we get when the truth is laid bare. And isn’t it ironic; assumptions make bold announcements, but the truth always lags.

No matter how embarrassing the truth is, the naked light of reason, as it appears, should always be welcomed. God has appeared, visiting the situation in the manner of the Spirit and truth.

This moment of reason is the reality that all relationships desperately need; for protagonists to acknowledge the truth as it prevails.

When the facts are known, and compassion is availed, forgiveness is then a reality; and with forgiveness, healing; a heavenly transaction.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Dreaming Up a New Dream

Times come when the end of something approaches. The temptation is to remain strong in our own strength, or skip the track and take on something totally new.

A third option exists if we don’t want to make or break.

At the right time we have a challenge to up the ante and create something brand-new from the opportunities — some barely visible — before us. But most of the time we’re either too scared or too proud to take the time or make the effort to think this laterally.

Dreaming up a new dream is an opportunist’s destiny; the time is right, and our motives should be right, and so we make the right advance upon the conquest before us. All’s in readiness.

It’s our thoughts, our imaginations, and our hearts that go into it.

***

When any good thing is ending it’s natural to mourn that thing.

After all, we enjoyed it, or it was challenging in a good way; either way it was worth our while. We may’ve wanted it to continue; certainly a relationship we enjoyed that’s now unrequited. But the end of that life cycle has now arrived. We accept that now.

We’re allowed — indeed, supposed — to grieve it.

We’re also allowed to dream up something new to take its place.

It depends on us. God allows us to set some new rules and standards; to take some control over our hopeful destiny.

Find a reviving place and circumstance to dream up a new dream. Continue to connect to this dreaming, visioning realm until it bears fruit somehow. Don’t give up on it.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

God’s Got Something Better In Mind

The will of God is faultless. We notice this truth when we consider the following thought:

Whenever things seem to go against us it’s only ever a temporary blow; that is, if we always remember God’s got something better in mind — for us, our situations, and the complications we commonly grapple with.

God desires for us to have the best of the best, but our problem is we’re often imploring our Lord to give us what we think is the best. Oftentimes what we think is the best is the inferior thing. We know this in retrospect; with the benefit of perfect 20/20 hindsight, and not before.

But we should know this; we’ve seen it recur many times; still we want what we want, or what we’ve lost or missed out on, and we want it now.

Beyond Rejections

Rejection is never the end of the story. It’s the beginning of the best kind of God-sponsored story with our names written all over it.

Rejection is merely the activator of the blessings of God, stirring the Almighty to the boldness of eventual, Divine action.

As we accept the rejections coming our way, knowing it’s not the end of the story, we remain open to the Redemption Song; the action of our Lord.

When we take this theory to the extremes we find nothing can beat us or get us down for long. We’re indomitable as we sit at peace with the will of the Lord that seems to be against us, but is only testing our strength; our faith in God.

The Christian’s key task is to never forget this truth, certainly so far as they’re able, for we’re all liable to forget how faithful God is. We forget that God’s timeframe is different to ours. It’s the right one.

What Comes After

Understanding that failure, fatigue, trial and oppression precede the blessings of God helps us understand that these are actually essential precursors along the road of the resilient life.

It’s the truth to say, God’s got something better in mind for each of our lives. Ours is to have a faith to remain confident in the will of God to redeem us, at the right time.

So we don’t give up; we look up. We don’t sulk; we smile. We don’t insist on our own way; we accept God’s way.

We focus firmly on the future, but concentrate diligently also on what we can influence in the present. And in all this we praise God by the insight of patience, which is the Lord’s wisdom known to us.

No matter what we’re sad or sorry about, God’s got something better in mind.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Graphic Credit: Turn Back to God.

Resolving Fear – Closing the Gate to Regret

As we consider, in reflection, with the passing of one full day, we can easily experience the pangs of regret because we didn’t attend earlier to our feelings of fear.

It is good, therefore, to understand that when we don’t deal with our fear that rises early in the day we’re bound to form regrets, whether consciously or unconsciously, later that day or sometime else.

So, we can see what starts as fear, and continues that way, ends up in the outcome of regret.

What Does Fear Look Like?

Fear can be likened to an abject lack of humility or, in more plain terms, we’re more self-conscious than we would normally be and this hinders us, propelling us to be too self-aware, and possibly self-critical.

Humility is a focus not so much on self, but others equally also. It takes things as they actually are, not inflating them because the ego is vulnerable.

Fear is experienced, therefore, when we have lost right and objective sight, and our world looks slightly askew. As looking through a lens in a camera, the view would seem distorted, a bit like one of those funny photos that show us out of proportion.

The cause of fear, of course, is something or some things that we are not dealing with at truth.

Honesty, and Early

Our best ally in the presence of fear is to dwell in truth.

This is not always easy because we’re not always aware. So awareness must precede the willingness to act forthrightly to dispel the fear.

We’re therefore aware of any emotional reactions, especially those in the negative. As we’re responding in hurry or compulsion, or any other forced response, we can know that fear is pushing us forward.

Being emotional is another tell-tale sign that fear is controlling us, as if pulling our puppet strings.

The skills of awareness are our best gift at this point, because if we’re aware we still have time to change, and right the day. Therefore, honesty is a form of courage to change tack from the perilous course we were on.

Reflecting Over Poignant Moments

The capacity for reflection is awesome for those who both practice it and have earlier experienced this abovementioned truth of awareness of their fear.

It’s usually a moment when we bravely decided to let go in the face of the truth that we understand that that moment changed our day. And for this we’re thankful to God for insight and the courage to change.

Very plainly put, we grow massively when we frequently experience these sorts of poignant moments, joining one to another and so on.

Best still we have a way of preventing regret. Truth, honesty and courage all come together, in one moment of reason, and they take us to victory over not only our fear, but our whole day also.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Graphic Credit: Rebecca White/deathtopanic.