Complacencies of Gratitude

One of the potential downsides to achieving our goals and the progression of life is the aspect of gratitude complacency—taking things for granted we were once grateful for, but are now no longer.

We all resonate with this. Some things become so... well... so, yesterday!

Why is life so accommodating? We want more of something; more and more we take and we gobble it down, gorging we are, only to become ultimately either sick or ambivalent of it.

Take your favourite song of six months ago. You probably played it that much that it wore thin. You hear it now and ‘so what.’

Not Enough, Too Much

The opposite, of course, is the song or food or colour that takes us back to that untouchable time when we were kids—or some holy memorable time in the past—a time we can’t retrieve or recapture for want or reason; we gain a glimpse and before long it’s gone.

This can be so frustrating. We want to own something that’s always too far away.

Some things in life linger too long; others are far too short and we forever try and rekindle the magic somehow.

What Used to Inspire

Complacencies of gratitude are those things we tire of which once inspired and transformed us. When we first got our driver’s licenses we loved to just drive—now we loath being trapped in that vehicle.

This phenomenon is a trap, especially as it relates to our spirituality. Imagine being “so over” God?

It happens.

Did you ever fall in love with the Lord of Glory? Remembering him saving you?

How are we protecting our first love?

This spiritual ambivalence or complacency—amongst others less critical, like the song we’re tired of—happens the same as any. Slowly interest wanes. One day we discover how far from the tree the apple’s actually fallen—it’s a long way back, if indeed we can find our way back.

If we don’t take and make genuine steps of discipline to protect our love for God, ambivalence and complacency is an ever-present threat.

The nature of God’s goodness to us and his greatness of complete dominion should always inspire us.

We should always nurture our gratitude such that ambivalence and complacency never wins us over.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

Going Higher

Ever had a purposeless time when you couldn’t sleep on a shiftless night? Nothing particular was wrong but there was also nothing stimulating either. Or perhaps there were too many niggling, unreconciled issues? There was a vacancy of solving thought and a gap in contentment... a time when you can’t quite put a finger on the problem and therefore ‘install’ just the right solution.

Going higher, I have found, is the idea fix on.

This is done practically and spiritually.

Practically, it’s brainstorming all that ‘stuff’ that blocks our vital essence, interrupting our spiritual flow. Get it down on paper.

Spiritually, it’s holding out in a pleasantly patient hope which binds us to something higher; an ideal, a fresh purpose, anything to invigorate and yet not deny.

Finally, this is where a good friend comes in. We sit with them and rummage around in our confusion together; we find something to laugh about. And yet, some of us prefer to go it alone. The Divine Friend is the one we can seek.

Going higher is then about prayer. It is easy. Just talk honestly in your thoughts.

Going higher is resolving this little mess we have victoriously. Nothing can stem this rolling tide of inner joy we’re creating as we contend with the soul at unrest. Sure, it might be contingent on the moment, but we have it now.

Enjoy the now.

Going higher is basically getting active—either or both spiritually and physically—resolving and acting on the little sense and direction we do have. Use it. Work with it. You’ll soon see what you’re creating for yourself.

God is with us in this.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

Three Most Important Commodities - Time, Good Diet and Sleep

One of the enduring lessons I’ve found in my life is the recurring themes implicit in living wisdom—facts none of us can get far enough away from; haunting facts that intercede to our bliss or chagrin, yet never quite intersecting the two. Three things make the difference.

These three at least are critical truths we must learn to abide with; we don’t to our own spiritual demise.

Time

It stands for no person. Yet, this is only the start of it. When I refer to time I actually mean priorities. We always get the time for the things we want to do. We prioritise these things and they happen. We just need to decide if they’re the right things, at the right time, done in the right ways, or not.

Time, secondarily, is about pace of life. Sometimes we live too fast; achieving too much. At other times we’re slack and procrastinate. The former means time is too slow for us; we must slow to it. The latter means time is outstripping us—we need to keep pace with time.

There is no better personal reality than being on God’s time; attendant to his schedule is patient swiftness. It is our role in life to continually re-calibrate our personal clocks with God’s.

Good Diet

This is more or less about self control. I have struggled so much with this and yet, such is God’s grace—with my body type at least, I’ve not been condemned for my indiscretions so far as diet’s concerned. Still, I do for the greater part watch carefully what I eat.

In the final analysis, food is fuel. That is its sole purpose. We might ‘tart it up’ more than this but it gets no more complicated than that. Why, then, do we eat the way we do? That’s because it’s become for us a habit of comfort. There is an embarrassment of blessing at hand for most of us and we don’t know how to respect it.

Let’s remember that food is fuel and slowly but surely we’ll rein in our waist-lines.

Sleep

I believe everything health-wise settles around our sleep—the quantity and quality of it. By saying this I think a huge holistic health and wellbeing benefit is derived from good sleep; there are so many spinoffs.

God made us in ways to rest. We need it. Just because we live in a so-called busy time doesn’t mean we can manipulate God’s laws of nature. When we burn the candle at both ends it is only we who perish—month by stinking month we go downhill and there is hardly a return until we start to choose for rest.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

Countering the ‘Bank’ of Wrongs

“That’s just wrong!” I barked consciously within myself as the third critical blow within a minute was taken on recently.

Plans jilted, sharp retorts, tasks piled on top of one another, all of which meeting us unawares and unprepared... go figure!

The nature of wrongs done to us occurs in groups, have you noticed? For the times pass unnoticed that give us no grief whatsoever, and then a piffling ten minutes has us betwixt, such is this irony of life.

We are destined to always notice the trying times more than the good. It’s just our nature.

Countering the bank of wrongs that traps us in our mounting fury is a trick simply of our awareness.

‘You’ Again!

“Ah, I notice ‘you’ now,” we say in doing this. Noting the situation as something of a threat to our peace, along with being a threat to the tranquillity of our relationships, is important. Once we know this we can do something positive about it in ensuring we respond as appropriately as we can—countering the darkened cloud of thick emotion.

Wrongs happen to all of us; the worst thing we can do is become offended by them or worse still, the people ‘responsible.’ It’s not their fault how we take things and how we react—they’re not the ones inside our heads or feeling with our hearts.

Forming the Habit of Response

Responding well needs to be more or less a habit if we’re to trust ourselves to act on our own behalf. That might sound rather strange but if someone else was to inhabit your body and act for you, you’d want some level of control, wouldn’t you?

It’s roughly the same arrangement for us when our emotions get out of hand; people wonder at times which version of us they’re dealing with. Consistency of response is something we should be able to offer all people we relate with.

The only way to form appropriate habits of response—that is a consistent way of courteous response—is to practise the practice. This takes focus, much congruent thought and reflection, and self discipline—all operating in focused unison.

Righting Our Wrongs

The only way we can right our wrongs is to absorb them the best we can. There’s nothing more we can do but do this in the moment, before then allowing our subconscious minds to mull with the information to decide, via the prompting of the conscious mind, whether further action is necessary, later. Most of the time it simply isn’t.

Most of the time we can laugh off (within ourselves) these things that wilfully come to trip us up.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

The Deciduous Faith

The autumn of life is a spectacular time. I read recently that whilst we’re young we learn and the older we get the more we apply that learning in the rubber-hitting-the-road sort of way.

Those of us entering midlife and the years beyond have exciting days ahead, for we have made it to the time when a deciduous process takes place in us, and hope imbues our cause to the enlightenment of our world and the people around us.

Deciduous trees, of course, shed their leaves in autumn as a sign of maturity—the tree getting rid of what it no longer needs, it takes with it only what will sustain itself through the approaching winter. Likewise, deciduous teeth make way for sturdier adult teeth.

Deciduous Faith

There are many ways this image of deciduousness can be applied to faith.

è Approaching maturity—and by our forties we’re certainly (hopefully) getting there—we know what we can safely jettison; what is more of a hindrance to carry with us spiritually into the nether regions of life remaining. This is a wisdom activity we’ll commit to for many years to come.

è We don’t mourn those withering leaves and falling petals of immaturity as they fall from us. Sure, we recognise that winter is approaching and preparations need to be made. This in itself is a sign of maturity. Instead of mourning we quickly accept it, allowing even a modicum of fleeting reminiscing to take place—these, after all, are our memories. They’re there at our immediate disposal whenever we want them.

è The hardness of winter necessitates the block isolation of those things that might compromise the overall structure’s survival. By getting rid of the leaves, the tree focuses on what it needs to in enduring the upcoming season of cold’s harshness. We also—whilst we have the opportunity now—get rid of those character traits that will not sustain us long into our senior years.

è Winters are not just known as seasons of bleakness and discontent. They truly are marvellous vistas where the chilly winds and steeped cool mornings bring the message we’re alive—our senses attest to this. This is reminding and renewing us. A lot of life has gone behind; yet still, much stands ahead. And we stand hopeful in any event.

è We decide for the peaceful life as the dimmer light of winter begins gently rolling in. Reflective, we take the time we’ve always wanted to take, to appreciate and to marvel. After all, we couldn’t glean this much out of life when we were younger.

What a show we have for those younger, as we model how autumn is dealt with. We apply both a pleasantly austere approach and resilience of the years as we continue confidently leading the way, supporting those securing the mantles we’ll eventually lay down.

Autumn is not a time to shrink from, nor winter. These are times to be in full bloom spiritually as we remain, alive, having enjoyed some of the easier, learning times of the past.

Now is our place to show those going after us—those watching us and our approach to life—how to approach these challenging years with patient cheeriness and passionate gusto.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

Time to Pray

When’s the time to pray? Why do it? Indeed, how do we do it?

There are many right answers to these questions and not many wrong ones.

I like to think that prayer can be a sort of worry that has a positive tinge to it... it’s a faith-based worry; a concern for things that’s always good for us.

It is becoming more normal for me these days to just simply pray when things become untenable rather than resist these things; and it’s not even that I’m consciously aware of it. Prayer is to become an instinctive action of the soul seeking itself in God.

Let’s consider the trilling moment—the time where all seems awry. The faith-gaze has the soul forlorn for a reason—the Spirit interceding, now with welcome allowance, to the otherwise confused state of being. This is the patient demise of the self to the venturing-in of God’s Spirit.

Finally we’ve ‘learned’ (via the Holy Spirit) this patience transcending our very human understanding.

Instinctive Prayer

The only way we get to a position of praying without thought is to start doing it all the time, and particularly so when we can easily bellow—within our inner selves—our prayers of praise and thanks i.e. when things are running hot and well.

This is easy practise. The trouble is most of us sit on our laurels at these times. We need to get up and get busy. Get praying when times are good.

When Life Goes ‘Wrong’ On Us

When things become horribly impossible, prayer is the only answer. It really is an admission of who is in control—for we are not!

Prayer is never the wrong thing to do when the world goes haywire on us, for the fact remains, the world’s not the problem so much—our default view of things is generally the real issue.

Our prayers then can help us conform our thinking, or at the very least they convict us to a simple peace that God has all this chaos somehow in his charge.

The Therapeutic Nature of Prayer

This concept then has a soul-beauty about it; even as if we weren’t there and weren’t able to get in our own way—for there’s nothing worse—getting in our own (and God’s) way.

Prayer, therefore, is appropriate separation and ‘detachment’ to the coursings of life. It facilitates the gentle rocking of the soul anesthetised by its Lord.

We’re only benefited to train in this activity—to make it part of who we are. It can only help. Our identities are fused this way to a God who designed life, in the first place, to happen in fusion with him and his Spirit.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

Raising Our Spiritual ‘Just Noticeable Differences’ (JND)

In psychology terms, the Just Noticeable Difference (JND) is the human measure of sensory perception that is just able to detect stimuli in its environment. In layperson terms it’s what we detect when something captures the attention of our senses. This has an important application to spirituality.

We miss so much of life and love and hope and faith when we’re spiritually unaware of things.

At great odds to a true spirituality is spiritual blindness which is not that far removed from sighted blindness; it just affects us at a more fundamental life level where hopelessness, pessimism and materialism will be terms more or less we’ll epitomise.

The Spiritual JND

Raising our awareness so that the Spiritual Presence of God is a reality for us is a practiced thing as much as anything else.

Of course, we’re gifted by the Spirit to know him. He makes himself known to us, not the other way around. But, the truth is, once we do know this indwelt Presence of the living God it is our task to seek it more and more and grow our faith, a.k.a. spirituality, for the times when we’ll need it most—during the struggles ahead; indeed, if it applies, during the present struggles too.

The spiritually-sensitive JND is what this is about.

During our days and even moment to moment, the spiritual realities of the world, which are seen by far too few, are to be made known to us—our prevailing mindset imbued in the spiritual, which enhances and re-focuses our actual experiences of life.

Indicators of Fervent Spiritual JND

The following are good examples of a living and active spiritually-sensitive JND:

è Waking from our slumber and the first thought is about life, wonder, grace and God.

è Seeing everyday miracles in the contexts of relationships and the ordering of situations and circumstances.

è When good things happen being in the habit of instinctively thanking God for them.

è When not-so-good things happen being able to see what God has for us in these events and circumstances i.e. what we can learn about ourselves and life from them.

è Seeing the broader world circumstances from a ‘detached-from-the-world’ perspective—able to see beyond the ‘obvious,’ which much of the time is a lie.

è The gentle inner nudge to reserve judgment and instead respond in compassion.

è Noticing the gentle whisper of the Spirit beyond the level of our senses. In this we hear God speak to us via an inaudible ‘still’ voice; on this, we respond.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

The Drunken Mind Speaks a Sober Heart

Do you drink a lot? And, if so, why do you? Is it perhaps to express your emotions more clearly?

I used to drink and not really for the taste it I can tell you, but more for what it produced for the mind; certainly for other effects. Inebriation soothed perhaps the mind, and allowed the ordinarily suppressed heart to vent in more sober appreciation of its reality. And then I learned when I gave up drinking, that expressing my sober heart with a sober mind actually worked better!

To drink or not to drink? For some this is to express feelings that aren’t otherwise—feelings well beneath the surface and remain there for want of a drink or other drug. For me it was to get to my more creative side. That’s what I really drank for. (But now I get to a far greater creative side, sober!)

The title of this article is actually robbed from a friend’s Facebook status.

You know the moment you read something and it just rings true. Then I Googled it. It’s quite a famous colloquialism, actually.

Why is it so? Well, again, those who aren’t so free with their emotions are afforded the ‘Dutch courage’ or spiritual lubricant in order to share with their mates.

We can always tell this by virtue of the change in the person when they’re drunk. Some are happy drunks and some are not-so-happy. I remember a guy who used to get resentfully angry almost every time he drank. He intuited pity from his friends around him as he wallowed in a pitiful stupor. For some people it pays not to drink for they expose too much of themselves.

Emotions are actually designed to authenticate the person, drug-free. We use them to display what we really feel. The better we control our authentic emotions the more characteristically adult we are.

Emotions are not designed to be buried and only to surface like a U-boat when we’re half cut.

They are there to testify to the authenticity of the person.

© 2009, 2010 S. J. Wickham.

TEN MINUTES

At a recent executive briefing at the place I work I reflected in the moment how power-packed one ten-minute period is so far as bringing people up to speed is. Even a slow start can be quickly recovered and much ground can be quickly made up.

The important thing is not to get negative and despondent about what or what not is being achieved.

Ten Minutes and Transformation

I was caused to reflect upon times almost a decade ago now; being at AA meetings and listening to others speak. They’d all get their ten minutes and I was always astounded as to how much of the story people would pack into that time period. I’d hear how it was for them, what happened, and how it was now i.e. back then.

I’d hear the torment of a soul at chaotic unrest who was then morphed by God’s grace into a capable, committed, honest and hard-working individual determined never to drink again. But, I’d also hear something else.

I’d hear a story that moved my heart and endeared me to the individual and to the miraculous nature of the ‘recovered’ life itself. In that short ten minutes my life changed; I was edified, restored and renewed through the hearing of another’s beautiful truth.

Ten minutes is all it takes to transform people. Ten minutes and a miracle occurs.

Ten Minutes and the Task

The key is staying on or getting back to task. It’s simply a matter of re-focussing on the issues of the talk at the time. A fantastic number of things can be affected when we deal urgently with that pithy ten minute period of time. This is a positive franticness.

My personal model for this sort of thing is Jason Bourne, the movie character from the Bourne trilogy. He has to work hard to extract himself from tenuous situations. We can think quickly and achieve lots too!

Ten Minutes and Trust

A lot of the time our ten minute periods hold us to ransom and we think not much of them. We don’t take advantage of the possibilities that lay forth.

When we place our faith in the possibilities of what can be achieved we can stand amazed as we reflect on the other side of it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We hardly ever realise just how much we can achieve—what we can say and do—in ten solitary minutes.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

Your Impeccable Word

“When you are impeccable with your word, your entire life improves in every direction.”

~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Voice of Knowledge, 2004, p. 129.

What lies are we, by the way we are living our lives, propagating and therefore cursing ourselves and others with?

This is the grand question of life that, when answered honestly and with effect, frees us to live the life Jesus came to give—the eternal life, now.

Truth must be the by-word of our lives—to every aspect. Where it isn’t we’re shackled to our ‘blind faith,’ as Ruiz puts it, and this can only lead to outcomes creating and continuing our own misery.

Put another way, when we live the lies of blind faith—which is a trap in terms of the aspects of truth-to-life—we enfold upon ourselves ironies beyond our present sense and logic; we confound ourselves and life only gets more chaotic and nonsensical. Denial is but one broad manifestation of this.

Of course, Jesus said in John 8:32 that the truth will set us free—this freedom is to the extension of our contentment about life; again, as I’ve mentioned recently elsewhere, where we take seriously all our responsibilities we afford ourselves the God-blessed freedom that anyone can have.

Let’s consider the issue of ‘responsibility accepted leading to contentment’ as a large drop in the centre of a pond. As those ripples venture outward with a positive flow in all directions, so does the extension of our freedom and hopefulness—equally so, in many directions and areas of life.

We stand gleefully with the truth and this defeats any semblance of the devil’s fear in us. We learn there really is nothing to fear but God himself—and in this way via our disobedience to him or our choice to not trust him.

Any time we fear not abiding to the truth is a good, positive and motivating fear that protects us from harm. It ensures we’re not buried in procrastination or arrogance against a world that can readily sting us in our abrogating pride.

And the basis of truth is that its fear is based fundamentally in love. Love underpins it. It’s the fear of ‘warning,’ concerned with wellbeing rather than falsity.

When we’re impeccable in word and intent we really have nothing to fear. God frees our arms to act for him in this world that so desperately needs more coalitions with truth.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

MISSION ‘ISOLATE’

We all have a problem—something to be aware of—no matter our spiritual persuasion. The devil’s heinous task is to isolate us from all sense and reason by confusing us and overwhelming us in frantic comparison.

This is one way it occurs, just to let you know...

When we don’t experience faith as others do—say perhaps forgiveness and acceptance come harder for us than they do for others—we’re lulled by this cruel spiritual enemy into damaging self talk. This is so often brought about in our subconscious thought space—way below what we ordinarily detect; this can only really cause us great personal chagrin.

Sooner or later, whilst we’re in our own private Idaho’s, we’ll find ourselves too far adrift from the place of God’s heart and Presence on the subject. Then we know we’re alone—we’ve withdrawn from the communal aspect of life and we almost don’t know how to wrestle our way back in. Our confidence is shot.

We say silly things like, “they’re better/more blessed than I am,” and we begin subsisting on the devil’s junk.

It’s a sinkhole syndrome we must be aware of.

The answer, of course, lies in people—getting into a group or even one-on-one so that these others can encourage our weary souls.

The devil hates this because it involves the stripping bare of our tasty spiritual pride—that juiciness of a flailing human being coming to their own pitiful end.

Coming to the end of our self-pity and seeing the trick in comparisons with others we start to see what we actually have—which is always a lot. It’s even a lot more than most have. Our talents, possessions, desires, experiences and achievements—all of these are more than a lot of people have.

The devil likes to isolate us and I don’t think anyone hasn’t been affected. Whenever we start to wantonly get away from people for any other reason than truly seek God—or to grow or rest some way—we’re possibly heading to that crushing reality of self purposed hell.

The devil sniggers silently, of course; completely at bliss in our ignorant lack of awareness.

At the absolute depths of my most profound sorrow I was given one clear piece of advice from those who obviously loved and cared for me. All they said was, “spend plenty of time with people; good people; people you trust and who will encourage you.”

This was one of the best pieces of advice I ever got.

Beware the isolation. Too much is not good.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

GORGEOUS BALANCE

Flipping the issues of sin and trouble for a moment, we have to appreciate the incredible ironies known to life. We smile obsequiously.

Take the marital relationship. It has its continual ups and downs, as do all relationships mind you.

Moods too. One day changes into another and a whole fresh mood (never quite the same as yesterday) is known.

A delicious balance is known to life—a balance that none can master, or if they do, they don’t master it for long.

In this way life’s fair. It gives not one an advantage over another, give or take the notional trust fund, silver spoon or God-indwelled talent—or for that matter, Cystic Fibrosis, paraplegia or bankruptcy—of which seem indiscriminate anyway.

The Other Side’s No Greener

One of the golden keys to life is the propensity to resist making comparisons. Comparison is the work of envy. Envying someone for the things they have de-values the very things we have, forgetting that possession is nine-tenths of not only the law, but of happiness also.

Whenever we think we have the poorer portion—forgetting the vast thousands and millions worse off—we cut ourselves off instantly from that balance which is ours; that which God has gifted us all with.

Allowing the Balance to ‘Trickle’ Over Us

Attaining balance is not so much the goal of life—though we cannot help trying to do it. It’s much more a case of appreciating the balances required of life.

Can we imagine for a moment life falling over for lack of balance?

When we’re ‘gentle with ourselves’ (a la The Desiderata) we quickly find that life is not that threatening. We park our fears as we come to see balance for what it is—something that’s a constant in life, whether we fear it or not.

Stretch Back the Mind – Free the Heart

It’s taking the time to sit back into that park bench and muse about the way life works and our role(s) in it. The broader view or the bigger picture is salubrious. It sweeps us away from the detail and re-tracks us in the eternal. It brings us back to the understanding that all things are in tension and that speaks of this gorgeous balance we could only simply marvel at.

But this picture doesn’t stop us from contributing to balance—interceding in love for life, people, our world.

Okay, it’s easy to get ‘fixed’ in the troubles of the world and these too are true, but there is the ‘just as true’ reality that God has this balance operant in life and that, for him, all things work for the good.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.