Personal power in the circle of control

Staying within the limits of our personal control is an eternal struggle for most people.  Who am I kidding?  The fact is we ALL struggle with it.  We would all like to have more personal control over the finer details in our lives.  If we are honest.

There is no greater cause of misery in this world
than our inability to control all the factors of our lives
that are out of our control.

This is the main cause of
most of the anxiety we suffer.

Of course, Jesus himself taught on this principle in the Sermon on the Mount.  Words to this effect: “Do not worry about your life… do not worry about tomorrow… today has enough trouble.”

The whole principle of life is based on accepting things we cannot change and changing the things we can.  But the former is harder than the latter.  The procrastinator struggles with the latter, but everyone struggles to accept the things they cannot change.  Accepting the things we cannot change is a challenge to our control but changing the things we can is an opportunity within our control.  There is a vast difference between the two.

Within life, there are three circles,
the circle of concern,
the circle of influence, and
the circle of control. 

There are any number of things we are concerned about, but cannot influence, just as there are many things we can influence, but cannot control.

There is wisdom, that is applied intelligence,
in staying within the circle of control.

All of this is summed up in the psychological theory called the internal locus of control.  That is, those who stay within their control exercise greater capacity for joy, hope, peace, and personal empowerment.  

Whereas those who endeavour
to control that which is beyond their grasp
enter a futility that must end in frustration.

When we play the blame game, we enter this futility, just as we do when we allow bitterness to fester and blur into unforgiveness.

When we insist we have life a certain way, or we demand a situation be different, we live in the external locus of control. 

When we allow unrealistic expectations to reign unchecked we set ourselves up for a pedigree of disappointment.

We lose all the power available to us because we are preferring to kick and stamp and scream about things we have no influence or control over.  We become miserable and that energy extends into the lives of those we touch.  It makes no sense and there’s no life in it, only death — death to hope, to peace, to joy.

When we live beyond our control, we exert a power that is not even ours.  We pretend we can exert a control we don’t have.  As we read these words, we sense the madness we engage in.

We certainly can forgive ourselves for losing our discipline.  But as soon as we recognise that we’ve lost our focus on staying within our control, we can choose to “let it go”.

Life is simpler than we think. 
Humility helps us to accept our limits.