Be careful. What you are about to read may cause you to reflect, to choke up, to get teary, to be touched, to be thankful. Why? Because of what you have endured. As you partake of this little morsel for reflection you may well come to a deeper appreciation of how worthy you are of a pat on the back.
You are courageous. You are resilient. Think of the things you’ve been through. If you list a few of them down, you might find that you have truly endured remarkable things. You will find that your story really does command some attention. A blockbuster motion picture could be produced based on your story. Elements of your story would stun many people—for what you endured and for how you made it through.
Your story will be like mine, yet markedly different in so many ways. Our stories exude overcoming. For me it was:
· being bullied and mistreated as an apprentice fitter and turner in the 1980s. This three-year experience culminated in a final year that was full of redemption. The experience compelled me to work in health and safety after being a tradesman almost 10 years. Ever since, I have been an advocate for justice and fairness in the workplace and elsewhere.
· some of the things I experienced as a first responder in the chemicals manufacturing industry (1996-2003) and even some of what I have experienced as a health and safety professional.
· the pain of separation and divorce and recovery from deep grief that lasted many months and overall took a few years to recover from.
· adjusting to life as a single parent of 11, 8, 5-year-old daughters – who are now thriving 31, 28, 25-year-olds (now with four [nearly five] grandchildren).
· recovery from the misuse and abuse of alcohol (2003) through the rooms and sponsors of AA and the life that came from overcoming bitterness and ‘making amends’ via the Twelve Step Program.
· the loss of my fifth child in 2014 to stillbirth after a long four-month battle of days.
· the process of grieving Nathanael surrounded as a church minister by the love and prayers of a large community.
· post-traumatic stress triggers from workplace trauma and learning to receive and then give trauma-informed care. Learning patience for myself and others amid chaos, gentleness for myself and others amid panic.
· a seven-year season of rebuilding again after arriving at a career abyss, losing that career I loved. More loss to overcome, but overcome that loss was.
Not a single one of us can’t relate with trauma. It’s normal to life to encounter it and then to recover from it when we press into it. Trauma isn’t so much something that should be avoided.
Rather than avoiding it or denying it happened, we can go back there and simply appreciate the courage we needed in being brave when we had to be.
Rather than focus on the stress that our trauma tends to create, we can focus on the growth that is exemplified in our rising above these events and seasons that crushed us at the time.
The encouraging part of the journey in learning about trauma is the life that emerges on the other side. One of my favourite quotes is Sir Winston Churchill’s, “If you’re going through hell, keep going...”
There is life on the other side, we just need
support to get there one day at a time.
I encourage you to make a list like I have; of all the things over your life that you have endured; of all the things in your life that you could go back to a younger version of yourself and just say, “I’m so proud of you that you kept going when you were going through hell.”
Spend the time and go back and thank yourself.
IMAGE: my Mum (died 2022), myself, my daughter Zoe, praying over Nathanael.
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