You have the need and the right to not only be safe but to feel safe

Picking up on well accepted principles for educating children, I don’t think there would be too many people that would argue that safety is both a human need and right.

Why is it, then, that we have so many issues and problems in our world in keeping people safe?

Why is it that most people have been traumatised in one way or another?  And why is it that a section of the population continues to have unresolved issues around post-traumatic stress because they weren’t kept safe?  We know very well that over 20% of women have experienced some form of sexual assault, and the majority of women have been sexually harassed.  Most people have been bullied at one time or another.

We are never being unreasonable when we insist that we and those we care about be kept safe.  We are never acting in an entitled way, and we are never being recalcitrant in respectfully insisting on this basic need and right.

Yet, we may be made to feel this way.  This is within the gamut of many of our personal experiences.

Who on earth would make us feel that way; that we cannot vouch for our needs and rights, and for those needs and rights of those around us?

These would be the people who feel it is their right to exploit others for their own gain.  Whether they imagine it is for their gain or not is immaterial, for there are people who are given to justify corrupt means as “holy” by making all sorts of excuses.

It is without doubt a cruel irony that we know and accept what our needs and rights are as far as feeling safe is concerned, and yet few of us feel very much in control of ensuring we and the others we care about can actually achieve our safety.

It may be just semantics when we contrast being safe with feeling safe, but these are important semantics.

Being safe is the outcome of feeling safe.  If we don’t feel safe, then we aren’t safe.  This caters for the spiritual person in each of us; the whole of our being.  We are the most advanced of creatures and we were given our feelings for an important reason and function.

To remain safe, we must have the capacity to speak about how we feel and feel confident that others will listen and respect what we say.  We have the need and right of help, too.

It is important that everyone has a voice in terms of their own safety, and even a voice to check in on others. It is one of the more beautiful things about being a human being; that, we are able to advocate for one another.

Of course, it would not be right to speak for someone without their permission, and we need to be careful that we speak only in ways that would truly be of benefit, and of service, to the other person.  And we need to attempt to empower the other person to speak for themselves, first and foremost.

In terms of their feeling safe, this is truly about honouring the perception of the person concerned.  Only an individual can tell us whether they feel safe or not.  Our role is to honour their perception completely, as they honour ours.  Trust is compromised and possibly destroyed otherwise.

Who would we be to insist that they are safe when they don’t feel safe?  To insist another person is safe is itself a form of abuse.

Only you are able to judge whether you are safe or not, whether you feel safe or not.

God gives you a heart and a mind and a spirit with which to discern, and a voice to communicate your truth.  God also provides helpers so you don’t feel you must do it on your own when you’re overwhelmed.

You have the need and the right to not only be safe but to feel safe.

When we feel safe, we transcend the difference between actual threat and perceived threat.  The perception of a threat is harmful enough.

Many harms do not leave bruises!

Photo by Lydia Torrey on Unsplash