How much control do you need?

Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash

I wonder with some ideas I write on why I hadn’t already written something. This one is one of those. Such an obvious thing to be aware of and especially to be wary of.

But how many of us
are aware of this issue
and wary of it?

The fact is we are in bondage to anything we need to control, whether it is people, the possessions we have, the circumstances of our lives, and especially how events we are involved in play out.

Whatever we need to control controls us,
and we’re tempted to use what controls us,
to control others.

And if we need to control anything, especially where people are concerned, that control not only controls us, it tends to have a controlling influence over others as well. And that’s a problem that bleeds into abuse.

For instance, this article was prompted by my awareness of a simple action I made on social media where I knew that an action I took — a responsible and free action, nothing to be ashamed of — might be tracked by a particular person. Sounds like stalking doesn’t it? It is a form of stalking, but in this situation, it is part of an ongoing conversation. But it is controlling. And I feel controlled, even if I’m comfortable knowing there is control, that someone is watching, and that that someone may very well be reading these words. And I hope they are. (It’s unfortunate that it is possible on social media to track a person’s activity. Because it makes stalking behaviour not only possible, it allows and even encourages such behaviour.)

What we all need to come to terms with is the influence we each have over other people, or better put, the influence we attempt to have over others. Attempting control over another person is, of course, an abuse of the relationship.

For what are the ways that we try and control things in our life:

·        We try to control people outright. Anyone who denies this is denying an important reality. We all try to manipulate people. The only way we stop this is by becoming aware of what we’re doing. If we refuse to stop controlling people, frankly we’re unsafe for relationship.

·        We try to control the possessions we have, and more so in the accumulation of more. This becomes a problem when the demand for and coveting of possessions drives us.

·        We try to control the events in our lives and our part in them. This is mostly about feeling safe. Anxiety is an indication that we either aren’t in control or that we desire more control over the circumstances of the events of our lives.

I think it’s God’s will that we allow Him to help us seize attention for the things that control us and the things we wish to control. God wants us free of external control; that the only God-anointed control we have is the responsibility we must have over our own life.

In other words, we must allow others to be free to make their choices whilst we exercise control over our choices.