Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Why Feeling Vulnerable, When You Are, Is Normal

“I just don’t want to feel this way,” is a common sentiment I get when seeing people as a counsellor. People never like being vulnerable. But feeling vulnerable when you’re vulnerable is normal. It’s normal to have bouts of vulnerability.
Feeling vulnerable is normal when vulnerability is felt as a result of normal life.
People often feel polarised in their vulnerability: “I shouldn’t be feeling this… I’m Christian, and I should be stronger than this… my identity’s in Christ; what’s this weakness saying about my identity?”
Weakness actually says a lot about our identity in Christ, but where we come unstuck is when we don’t lean on God.
Life is such an important influence on how we feel. If we place due importance on certain things, those things will certainly press us into a corner. We will be quickly overwhelmed.
One of the saddest realities in life is we judge ourselves and others too quickly for looking weak in a trial.
What is as it is cannot be dumbed down as something it isn’t. Reality bites from time to time, and if we don’t take our realities seriously we may miss the significance of our lives.
Feeling vulnerable is normal when realities make us vulnerable.
One of God’s objectives in allowing us to feel vulnerable is he wants us to make the choice to rely on his strength to get through. He knows we can. But we can’t get through the way he wants us to get through by relying on our own pitiful strength.
Feeling vulnerable is normal when life pushes us to edge and occasionally over it.
If we expect that we’ll always maintain our composure we may find that pride has taken over. What we find motivates us more than truth is fear of exposure and embarrassment.
True love finds itself home in truthful vulnerability — nothing to show off; nothing to hide.
When we view life as a learning ground, and we accept that vulnerability will catch us off-guard from time to time, we see the new weakness as a learning opportunity. Instead of feeling fearful we can feel hopeful. Instead of judging ourselves as weak we can be gentle with ourselves. Heaven knows we need it.
There’s no shame in feeling vulnerable because there’s no shame in being vulnerable.
When life becomes a struggle we should expect that we’ll struggle.
Feeling vulnerable is normal when it’s expected that it’s normal to be vulnerable.
© 2015 Steve Wickham.

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