LET ME share with you about my experiences of coming to experience God.
It was out of brokenness that I fell to my knees, weeping uncontrollably, praying that believer’s prayer. It was in the midst of a tormented mind when I sought advice from an AA sponsor. It was when I went to Bible school and discovered I wasn’t the only person with a broken past that God had redeemed. It was in service when nobody was watching. It was in looking back over my past years and noticing God’s faithfulness in my growth; that he had changed me ever so gracefully. It was when I felt discouraged, disappointed, distrusted, and done-over and when I saw these things as material for learning and not resentment.
It was all these things above, and so many more, but when I experienced God’s power and Presence and peace most was in those times of surrender.
Surrender was something I learned was good, but not only most essential, and now most confusing. Surrender before God can be no bad thing. Surrender before God is the allowing of God’s Spirit to empower us to be real in our own beings.
We need to be real, which in itself is a cliché.
But I have found that being real is dependent on accepting myself. It took me a long time to achieve that! And accepting myself was dependent on a belief that God loves me. And God showed me in countless experiences that that faith was founded truly. The more I surrendered to God my total being, the more God scooped me out of the gutter of my filthy circumstances, the more I saw his love living and active, incisive and decisive, in my life. God proved his love for me, and all the more because I was a sinner who didn’t even deserve saving.
How could I not love God in return for having saved me for this new second chance of a life – to do my works of ministry in his name by faith?
When we finally surrender all of our baggage at the feet of the one on the Throne of Grace, we stand amazed at what he does. He pours out his love and redeems us in the practicality of the moment.
God loves broken, messy, awkward, ragtag, not-got-it-together people. When we experience the true Personage of the Lord, then we are convinced. It’s not about religion; it’s about relationship. God’s love accepts and transforms.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.