Recalling times past, nearly 10 years ago now, times when I truly felt I had lost everything, I thank God for the sense of hope that was instilled into me, even as I floundered to re-establish my identity as a man healed enough to turn 180°.
Thinking back to those times and the desperation, the loneliness, the fear, and the intrepid sense of wonder that God was with me through all these, helping me step, proves to me, looking back how faithful God is.
I screamed out to God to save me and he did just that, but in ways I could never have imagined; as I wandered the earth having prayed that bitter prayer, God sought me out in such unpredictable ways. When exercising, worshipping, or simply driving the car I was swept aside myself by the Presence of God – a giant goose bump wasn’t even half of it.
But no matter how much I was touched by the hand of God I still had to grapple with the consequences of losing everything that was meaningful to me.
I was desperate to make amends and I did so, but these amends often probably meant more to God than they did to the person is making amends to. Still, I remained convinced that I was on the right path; I had faith in God and in God’s faithfulness to restore me and vindicate me. And he did.
Hope Inside of Hopelessness
Hope requires faith to work, just as faith has to be fuelled by hope.
These two run in tandem, and they are helped by love – love for ourselves through a loving God.
It may seem a contradiction in terms to be able to access hope inside our hopelessness, but through faith enough to keep stepping, honestly and courageously, we are gifted blessings for our faith. We have power we never had before. We see things as we never saw them before, honestly. We take full ownership of our lives and how it impacted others.
Somehow, in the depths of our sorrows, as we grimly go on, there is a presence inside us, helping, assisting, when it would be otherwise impossible to go on.
Holding on, having lost everything meaningful sounds impossible, but with hope even in hopelessness we can go on. Honesty, courage and companionship all go a long way. We have to believe the best is yet to come, and the interesting thing about belief (faith) is most of the time it comes true.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.