There Are Times My Gracious God, when all of me abounds in confusion, and the experience of being overwhelmed takes me, as a rudderless raft, on the floodwaters of a torrent bound for nowhere.
When all that is within me screams and shouts and cries to be understood, when I am contorted and confounded and driven in my hopelessness – in that shadowy valley – I have nothing else but you. But you are enough!
When I am at my most desperate, and in the intenseness of my vulnerability, I have learned to invite your Presence into my being, and place you there as a sacrament of my allegiance; a most vital Presence to deliver me in that moment of Sheol.
In the moments, consume me O Lord, and take my soul afresh into you.
Allow me to infill of your Holiness, that my vessel may brim to overflowing again. Give me the grace for my moment, and just enough to get through, so I can glorify your holy name. Allow me entrance into your divine nature, to drink of your waters, and to immerse myself in your rivers of mercy and grace.
O Lord, who or what am I without you? I can do nothing. But with you within me I feel I have everything I need, so consume me in you, O Lord.
At my weakest you remind me of your strength. When I feel afraid you are my courage. When I feel alone, you are my companion. When life feels strange, you are my familiarity. When I feel pain and I cannot bear it anymore, you are the comfort who comes alongside me. You are the wind beneath my wings when I have no experience of your Spirit. You are behind me and ahead of me, and all about. I cannot hide from you, and I do not wish to in any event. When I feel rejected you are the love I need and you come into my life every single time. When I am betrayed you counsel me, because you know the pain of betrayal better than anyone. You give me peace!
Remind me, O Lord, this moment as I travail; be my breath and my hope and my inspiration. Give me passage into you. Allow me that dire necessity and utter privilege. Please forgive me my insistence, but I must have you. Give me such passage, I pray.
In the knowledge of Jesus, and all he did, and all your Spirit continues to do, I pray. AMEN.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.