Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Grief – It Takes As Long As It Takes

One thing we never get too far away from in life is change-engendered-grief.  Adjustment to new circumstances, through the remoulding of identity, is a necessary skill to ward against the pain longer term such that we can eventually reach a place of acceptance and, ultimately, healing.
A big part of this process is accepting that reaching acceptance is, of itself, a journey.  We will want to skirt past much of the hurt, disappointment, betrayal and frustration we feel because it’s painful.
But, we cannot get to acceptance quicker that way.
It Takes As Long As It Takes
There is hardly a truer mystery known to humankind: loss and its corresponding grief.
The processing time we need to reach a good place is like the proverbial piece of string—just how long is it?  We can only answer that one, genuinely, from our 20/20 hindsight.  Sad as that fact is, we’re better off actually, especially as we consider the time taken to properly adjust is saving us the ongoing grief caused from chronic denial.
For too many people the tug of denial is mighty strong.  They go its easy-hard way, but they will come to firmly regret their reticence to invest in courage to go through the difficulties now.
Getting to the final acceptance of a thing takes as long as it takes—our patience is being tested.  But being patient is just being realistic.  It’s coming back to being realistic, time and time again.
The Hard-Easy Way – the Better Way
Like so many things in life, the better way is harder initially.  It requires courage from us to go the way of truth.  Sure, the truth stings—as it usually does—but only for a time (even if that’s an extended time).
In faith we’ll outlast this pain.  We’ll go on past it unto our own healing—God’s initiated and facilitated healing.
With each interceding day—and each of the smallest conquered victories, which are the pains that we’ll absorb under God’s terrific power—we’ll add to our acceptance-power, for that great day of ultimate revival is surely coming to us.
Faith Now – for the Future
God only knows now what strength is being laid at our feet for our tomorrows.  In faith, then, we know that as we sow in tears we shall reap in the delight of joy, later (Psalm 30:5).
Perhaps the best thing is we can know the hope in this at an intellectual level before we retrieve it at the heart level—before it becomes a true ‘felt’ reality for us.
Praise is due God for going before us now, and preparing a ground that we will stand firmly on, countering many things with good effect that perhaps today are beyond us.
Loss, grief, and adjustment are what they are, but an honest and gentle patience finds us ultimately blessed by God who heals.  Then, our spirits are stilled to enjoy this peace that surpasses all human understanding. Let’s let go and walk with God.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

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