Friday, October 26, 2012

Accepting the Way Things Turn Out

“Things turn out for the best, for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.”
— Canon J. John
This is a particularly hard word; a difficult article to write, because it treats a heavy subject in the non-reality of words. The ‘things’ of life turn out beyond much of our control, and even though many lives go a long time without significant suffering, many other lives have more than their fair share of horrible realities to constantly contend with.
But there is a gospel truth to be heeded in every horrible, yet common, reality. Things eventually turn out for the best for those who make the best out of the way things turn out.
The difficulty is that time-lapse between the inception of problematic situations and the conclusion of matters. Many harsh realities take much longer in the resolution than we realise. Indeed, many of these harsh realities continue on and may never be rectified to the extent we would desire—for instance, the deaths of loved ones.
But there is still a great deal of merit in honouring every common reality that we are blessed by or stricken by—and all between. In responding to the ups and downs of life, however, we will tend to trip up.
Tripping Up, First
I liken myself to that of an early adopter, yet a slow learner. I get on board early, yet I usually still struggle to completely adopt change. Whether we are early or late in adopting things probably matters little, but most of us will find adjusting to change a slow, and, at least initially awkward, process.
We trip up, perhaps many times, initially. We might condemn ourselves for these failures, but we needn’t.
Adjusting to change can be a slow process involving grief.
Being Gentle with Ourselves in Adjusting to Change
The gentler we can be with ourselves in dealing with the way things have turned out, the smoother our transition period is.
Being gentle with ourselves is really about allowing ourselves the space we need without applying unnecessary pressure to ourselves. We all adjust to change much better when it’s not forced on us. We are most motivated to accept change when we have some say over when and how we will accept the change.
***
Major change comes into all our lives, and we are favoured most when we resist the change least, despite our need to recoil in initial grief. When we are gentle with ourselves, we have the ability to give ourselves the space we need to eventually adjust.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

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