Many people who are depressed feel absolutely characterised as disabled individuals. This is such a sad reality, yet to a great extent, when we look at our world that promotes success of every turn, we can see WHY those who are depressed feel the way they do.
Anyone can see how outwardly nobody would want to be seen as “depressed,” and we certainly know that inwardly it’s a horrifying reality to live. Until a person has had depression, they have no idea how deep and hard a reality it is. Most people who grieve for the first time are utterly gobsmacked by the sheer depth of pain involved in grief, and that pain is best described as full-blown depression.
Depression is not just acute sadness or chronic hopelessness, and it isn’t just about being assailed by panic attacks. Depression is debilitating in killing our drive, in extinguishing our purpose, in crushing our confidence.
BUT...
Have you heard people talking about ADHD and autism being superpowers? They absolutely are.
Do you sense that the world is changing and becoming more inclusive of those who are simply different? Do you believe for a better, more understanding future society?
Is there a place in our society where we might connect with others who are grieving and experiencing depression because of their circumstances?
In these connections is facilitated a healing. In connection, we learn to reach out for the support we always needed.
Have you ever thought about depression being a state of being where the heart is turned toward truth? That is, the circumstances that have conspired against us send us headlong into a season of lament. And that, in many ways, is what depression is about: lament.
There are worse ways of living than depression. If we were to deny our struggle and dip our toes in the water of addiction, to dissociate from the pain of our existence, that would be far worse than being depressed. If we were to turn our depression outward onto others in anger, turning our depression into aggression, that would be worse than being depressed. It would be better to be paralysed in our depression than to struggle with addiction or aggression.
Depression really is a state of being where a
person agrees with what their life looks like.
It’s sad. And it’s true that it’s sad. Dreams have been crushed. And it’s true that dreams have been crushed. Losses have been incurred, and these losses are irredeemable.
The grief in depression leaves us lost for an answer. And we go over it again and again.
There is no destination but acceptance, but acceptance often seems miracles away, and we can’t wish miracles into action. We can’t manufacture what we would dearly love to be the case. But what we can do is diligently step out each day in the belief that today might be the day. All the while we can’t escape the lament, and why would we?
To escape the lament would be
to deny the truth of our lives.
Depression is set of inconvenient realities that induce pain which have no recourse in the here and now. To be depressed because of a grief carried is the epitome of courage. Think of it for a moment. You have no choice but to walk each day in the fear and sadness.
We never need courage until
we experience fear or sadness.
When we experience fear and sadness, we
necessarily need courage and we show courage.
If you are depressed, can you see yourself as courageous? Can you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes. You will tear up afresh when you comprehend that God sees you, and God knows your pain, and God cries with you.
The only way to heal is to face our reality. Sure, our realities often need to be faced, then reframed, so we inject hope, a sense of joy, and a burgeoning peace into the equation.
But depression is the first step along the journey to healing, because a heart cannot be healed unless the heart first turns towards truth. It’s just the case that it takes an inordinately long time to get there — years in fact.
Any significant grief journey will take about three years. For some it’s longer. There are times when we feel quite healed, and then we are triggered by something which it takes us back almost at the start point. All this is humbling, and there’s nothing wrong with being humbled. Indeed, it’s blessed, even if it feels horrible.
As grief’s depression resembles a heart turned toward truth, be encouraged that you’re on the right path. Being on the right path is ALL that matters.
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