Stuck between feeling lonely and needing to be alone

Normalising the human experience that runs without running—that is, feeling the full force of one’s existential pain without using anything to numb it—we inevitably end up feeling alone or we crave wanting to be alone.

There are times when we’re stuck in the middle.  And there’s not a damned thing we can do about it.

This is a form of spiritual attack where the solution is neither having people around us nor being alone.  This state of being is horrible.  Little wonder we call it a Poor Mental Health Day.

Here I write that it’s a valid human experience that isn’t explained away so easily.  I guess I want you to know that you’re seen if this is occasionally you.  In feeling alone, you’re not alone.  In needing to be alone when you can’t get away from people, you’re not alone.

The answer beyond all seeking for answers when there are no answers is this: 

We sit, 
we wait, 
we give our thinking a leave of absence—if we can, 
we give into the feelings, being bravely true to them—
facing their pain not needing to fix them,
we force nothing that need not be forced,
we make no major decisions even as we sit in indecision,
we try to ask nothing of ourselves or anyone else...

While we’re there in that place of feeling neither home or away, of feeling at a loss for what to think or feel, we let the experience flow over us, around us, or through us.

Being stuck between feeling lonely and needing to be alone, we’re not at fault and we’re not to be blamed for being neither here nor there in our state of being.

What can we do other than go gently in the intrepid journey called Enduring the Day.

I’m taking some time off writing.
I may be much less active here for a while.  
Thank you for your fellowship.