The gut knows, but in a thinking world we rarely trust it. And still, we must read the gut for it to be an ally. And having read it, then we must have courage to act.
(I can tell the enemy doesn’t want me to write this, because the words are hard, and the construction is frustrating, and that doesn’t happen without the presence of attack. So, please bear with me.)
Especially as Christians, there is a strong pull to not want to upset or do harm to others, but tip over the knife’s edge and we become vulnerable. That need to love others can prevent us vouching for our own truth, when vouching for our own truth is literally our best defence mechanism—one that God in divine wisdom created for our survival.
Equally, however, there are Christians who speak truth undeterred by “fear” and they potentially do great harm thinking they’re doing God a service. God wants nobody repelled or repulsed because of the gospel. God doesn’t excuse and never endorses truth by force.
This is the matter of discerning our circumstances and whether they’re safe or not. God doesn’t expect any of us to remain in toxic relational situations, for Jesus himself said, “shake the dust from your feet… let your peace return to you,” (Matthew 10:13-14) and that was put in terms of sensing a lack of welcome on account of the gospel. Discerning an actual threat takes situations up a notch and more.
Nobody forces us to remain in a situation against our will, least of all God.
But what God does give us is a body that is highly attuned to sensing danger, and with the brain of the gut, and with the heart of our instinct, we’re granted the bodily ability to discern when to stay, when to go, when to resist, and when to stand.
One of the advantages of trauma that is also a tragedy is how well these senses are piqued to the triggering of one’s entire being, when, as the instincts fire, conniptions of reaction go off in a chain reaction. One of the tasks of trauma recovery is learning the ‘when’ and ‘how’ of triggers so strategies are developed for prevention and response.
What we need to do is be empowered to walk when we need to.
We need to have previously agreed with ourselves that if and when certain situations arise, we’ll walk. In other situations, perhaps it’s a case that we’ll make a stand—but not where our agency is stripped from us and we’re rendered vulnerable to triggering or attack.
When we’re not feeling safe, we ought to find the sanctuary of harbour.
Trusting in and acting on the instinct and gut of our heart is vital to teach anyone who is vulnerable to being taken advantage of.
Practically, we must learn our “radar” for threat, and we must learn to trust it, and then to obey it.
That requires sensing to the degree that we know our body, fine-tuning our senses so we can discern a threat from what is safe, and it is having the courage to act as advocates for ourselves when we need to without doubting and worrying.
Most of all, it’s learning that we’re not “judging” Christians for enabling these good defences. These are protective behaviours. We all need them.
And, finally, we MUST also learn to forgive ourselves for times when we didn’t discern or didn’t act on our gut, when we trusted but it proved unwise in hindsight. None of these situations of trauma are your fault.
You have the right to protect yourself to the precise degree that you need protection.
You get to define what that looks like.
Photo by Andrei Lazarev on Unsplash
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