Readers will have differing views on whether patriarchy and complementarian theology are linked with abuse and violence against women or not. I certainly see a link, and I do not think it is a long grasp from one to the other.
Take a look at the quote featured: how on earth can it be read in any other way but derisive to women? Thankfully, what men could get away with 50, 30 or even 20 years ago, fewer and fewer men will get away with these days. We simply cannot let these attitudes propagate, because derisiveness with women is the disrespect which is the antecedent of violence.
I look at the profiled quote and I think of the author not as a theologian or teacher—for what they purport to be—but as a troll. Surely, he must be stirring up trouble. That must be his aim; to goad those with counter views into vigorous debate, and preferably to the point where they cause offence, so the goader can then say, “There you go! Look at how disrespectful THEY are!” I know it runs both ways. Nobody provoking a reaction should get away with it. But surely those vouching for equality as God in Jesus would espouse are simply putting forward a just case.
Look at how contemptuous the profiled attitude is! Surely it is nothing like the attitude of Jesus, who, for gospel history’s sake, had a high view of women, even by today’s standard, and given that he was a first century man, it is all the more remarkable that Jesus esteemed women as he did. You can’t read the four gospels and deduce it any other way.
When men treat women as second-class citizens and major on the concept of submission in marriage, particularly where Paul talks directly about mutual submission also in the very same chapter of Ephesians 5, what are these men saying about their mothers and daughters and sisters? What are they saying about half of the population made in the image of God? What are they saying to themselves, these who were born XY and not XX by pure ‘fortune’ completely beyond their will? How can they bend scripture, to the point of a few isolated verses, to their advantage, only to miss their own sin? Why is it that power must be foisted over women to the degree of insolence? Can they not see that such attitudes propel such behaviours as violence born of a disrespect hardly conscionable of a caring human being?
The profiled quote will infuriate many a reader for the authoritative nature of the aggression set before them. Very few women will read these words comfortably, because the woman and the man of gentle sense will read something in these words that incites the soul to division. To insinuate that women’s problems are due to their own stubbornness, and that they create their own problems to the ends of needing biochemical therapy is insane! This sort of ‘wisdom’ weaponises words against wives by abusive husbands.
These are the words of a troll—someone whose role it is to rile and to goad and to annoy; to draw some negative reaction, and then to, at some point, hold one’s hands in the air as if to say, “I’ve done nothing!” These are hardly the actions of a mature man.
But the far more serious issue is the intent of the message, which downgrades women, and out of a public superiority, ascents itself above all humanity that is not masculinity. I imagine there are men who would publicly or privately agree with the author of this quote, and surprisingly, there would be some women in this camp too.
Be rest assured, that such attitudes of gender superiority are at the roots of a power base that asserts itself above others, to the ends where power disequities will surely occur to the ends of abuse. The world is, and has always been, far too patriarchal, and the common problem with patriarchy is inequity, and inequity amongst common humanity is about power, control and abuse.
When will men come back to God, and instead of bowing to the idol of misogyny, bow only to the one and only true living God, Jesus.
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