I write a lot on loss and the grief that comes out of it. I write about my responses, yet hopefully never in ways in which to say, “this-or-that is right and this-or-that is wrong.”
The truth of matters is that your response to your situation is best for you as it is discerned by you, and given the information you have at hand, anyone else would make the same response if they were in your situation.
Your response to loss is as viable as anyone’s. Though you, yourself, may consider it leaves something to be desired, which causes you to seek feedback, and therefore you’re able to improve your response. The point is that you, yourself, are best placed to make an honest self-assessment. But that’s where, as individuals, we can fall short. We make judgments of comparison all the time, when all God requires of us is self-assessment and self-management; to deal with our stuff, not someone else’s.
It needs to be said, however, that there are many responses that are perfectly adequate for the varying situations that these responses warrant. One method works for one person better than that same method will work for another.
Your best response is good enough to get the ball of recovery and restoration rolling.
So, improve if you can, but accept that God has granted you a mind for getting good results from being a little bit different from the next person.
When we finally accept our path to forgiveness or grief or resilience is as viable for us as others’ paths are for them, we feel less pressure to conform to one set way of doing things, and we sense God’s freedom. And that freedom bleeds the blood of love. God has made a plethora of viable ways to reconcile matters.
Love has no pressure for the way of things. It accepts there are thousands of viable ways to do a thing.
Whether it’s forgiveness, grief or resilience, nobody wants your issue reconciled more that you do. You have the best vested interest, so believe in your best method for recovery and give it all you’ve got. Most of all, don’t compare. Keep believing in the recovery of reconciliation.
So, may you be blessed in knowing God is with you, encouraging you to continue going your way. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. And if there is a challenge to your modus operandi, God will challenge you in believing the new method is possible and worth every effort you’ll need to make.