Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Overcoming Porn By Sexual Discipleship

“Sexual discipleship isn’t a program or a counsellor, it’s a relentless compassionate truth filled process.”
— Dr. Allan Meyer
Recovery out of porn addiction is a long process, estimated to take between three and five years on average, but it is nevertheless nevermore worth it. The future of our spirituality and our identity as healthy human beings depends on it, not that we need to feel embarrassed and ashamed for being afflicted by pornography addiction – (because every one of us are made in the image of God) – but, the fact is, pornography addicts almost always condemn themselves for having such a problem.
But it needs to be recognised, that once we acknowledge the problem, we really need to do something about, now, and not put it off. Pornography will only make things steadily worse in our lives if we don’t attend to it by continually putting off the idea of recovery. We may end up fully ‘vaccinated’:
“Porn is a vaccine against intimate healthy sex.”
— Dr. William Struthers
Ironically, porn takes us further and further away from those halcyon sexual experiences with our wife or husband. But when we confess our sin and seek help we have every chance of reclaiming sexual purity and the best of intimacy with our spouse through the process of recovery.
The recovery process depends on the process of sexual discipleship.
Some Components of Sexual Discipleship
As the quote at top alludes, the process of recovery out of a pornography addiction is reliant on sexual discipleship – it needs to become the most important thing as far as spiritual growth is concerned for the next five years, until we reach such a point that we truly are in maintenance mode, having been transformed by God’s miraculous grace.
Some of the components of sexual discipleship are formal coursework, professional counselling, pastoral support, ongoing applied learning and teaching, a rigorous commitment to honesty which needs to be laid into discipleship processes, and accountability partners, not to mention all of the information technology controls like Covenant Eyes. These are just some.
Truly everything needs to be thrown at this problem, just like if we had a drug addiction, or any other addiction for that matter. It must become the most important issue in our lives, and for the rest of our lives to be reframed around it for as long as it needs to be.
***
There is not enough sexual discipleship and too many are afflicted by pornography addiction as a result. Sexual discipleship is the relentless compassionate truth filled process for recovery. Those who commit to it wholeheartedly do recover.
People who have a problem with pornography are not bad people. Their need is for sexual discipleship. Honesty will promote recovery, and compassion from others is crucial. Recovery is a long-term commitment.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
Acknowledgement: to Jason Huxley of Guilty Pleasure and Dr Allan Meyer and Dr William Struthers, recognised experts on pornography addiction. Visit the Guilty Pleasure website for more information.

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