Sunday, March 2, 2014

Unmasking the Disguises for Sadness

Sadness isn’t always readily apparent, but frustration, annoyance and anger or pretending to be happy when we’re not may often be. Sadness, potentially, underlies the negative emotions of life. These are times when we cannot control life, and, beyond the logical mind that knows that control isn’t the point, we still want to control it. These are times when we’re devoid of protection to deny; when we’re stripped bare; when we take things honestly but painfully. Yes, when we take pretence away, the soul unembellished, there is sadness. And we can grow to welcome it.
This, we don’t need to run from.
This, we don’t need to fear.
Touching this is part of our healing — an ongoing process with no ultimate destination this side of eternity. We can only hope we remain open enough when negativity strikes, because sadness will often underpin it. Sadness seeks consolation. We can console ourselves and seek the consolation of others.
Digging Deeper Down To Our Sadness
There’s plenty of theory suggesting we have repressed selves where experiences too dark were tidily shelved away, because we had no way to cope with them, or because we were told they were too dirty — causing us to shamefully forget them.
Deep within our unconscious minds, no matter how well-adjusted our upbringings were, resides a meaningful sadness that invites us to touch it. Doing such a thing, however, requires a rudimentary, tenacious sort of courage. Things buried so deep were put there because of the pain involved. But having the courage to go down there — something all of us are capable of — is to be richly rewarded.
Digging deeply down to our sadness, reliving the darkest areas of our lives, redeems a feature of life we can acknowledge if we choose to. Nothing there is rightfully shameful or guilt-inflicting, though we may feel these very emotions. Logically, we spend time accepting those parts of ourselves we’re most sad about.
Other Things Revealing Sadness
Many of our most negative emotions are a cover for deeper sadness; anger, anxiety, even pretentious happiness.
These negative emotions are a trigger for deeper exploration.
When we’re in a mood, instead of allowing it to continue, we can enquire of our state of mind and heart beneath; just to see if the mood reveals a deeper lack, for they often do.
There are times when genuine sadness strikes at a very conscious level; again, we must honour such sadness, allowing ourselves time out — to be gentle with ourselves.
Negative emotions like anger, much everyday anxiety, and even showy happiness are often a cover for sadness at a deeper level. Everyone has sadness and it’s okay. Enquiring of our negative emotions to check for sadness, and to be there for ourselves, validates such sadness. We don’t feel so lonely or helpless.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.


  1. you have touched the most vulnerable place..looking at the underlying root...that is scary; some believe that internal honesty is not what good Christians do.
    I know it takes more faith permitting oneself to look deep, facing the sorrow or anger or whatever...than making a faith declaration that seems like the "right" way to handle unacknowledged source issues..
    My thoughts..
    Faith declarations are good; but not as a cover up

    1. I think we really are speaking the same language. Scary is clean; it is right; it is faith. And faith (real faith) is always embedded with truth.


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