Friday, June 17, 2011

Denying Our Destructive Self-Talk



It’s the most fervent denial — one entrenched and drenched in truth. If we’re going to have any chance of personal success and lasting peace we’re best to learn to quickly deny outright the lies that come into our hearts and minds.


Philip just doesn’t know when one moment will turn from a relatively calm ease to an out-of-control reality where he finds himself tortured mentally for one single recollection. Jenifer has the same hellish problem to wrangle with. They both live fairly scared lives, which are never far from the disruption of internal circumstance.


They’re both held to their rampant self-talk and it presents at times as a jealous foe bent on self-destruction. But it doesn’t have to be like this...


Analysing Our Internal Chatter


Most people talk to themselves. Some do it more than others and these people are generally analytical thinkers.


The way we cope with difficulty usually depends on what we’re thinking — which is many times below our conscious awareness — which is also dependent to a high degree on what we’re feeling.


Thinking is connected to feeling in so many ways. We can think our way into feeling better or, worse, the other way around is also true; many times how we feel dictates directly how we think. Little wonder that our thoughts, at times, privately condemn.


Conforming the Self-Talk


Awareness of our problems is always reaching first base, intact and alive for the next ball at play.


Whenever either Philip or Jenifer has the awareness — which is in this case, wisdom — to put their thoughts and feelings on the stand, before the inner ‘court’ of truth, they can quickly find their false and unfounded thoughts and feelings, and shrink them into nothingness. The fear vanishes.


Evidence is a powerful ally.


In the presentation of thin-at-best evidence it is easier for them both to simply laugh at the devil in this detail and move onto the next, more productive thought. Freedom is found. There is escape for fresh air, for the truth always prevails in such circumstances. The truth always brings the ultimate in freedom — certainly once the reality of the truth is accepted.


Conforming our negative self-talk is subjecting it to the truth on this stand. We put it to the trial. We’re not in fear of it. It’s simply a matter of awareness. It’s then a matter of habit. We train ourselves to be disciplined thinkers and this way our feelings don’t lord it over us so much.


© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

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