The one thing they wouldn’t do, was just be honest with you

We all know how this story ends.  Someone is dishonest with us when we had every fair expectation that they would be faithful to their word.

It happens so very often in life.

From the acquaintance who doesn’t return that thing or call to the person who doesn’t follow through with a promised business decision to the friend who cheats us out of something valuable (or not), to the full-blown affair that sends our life into emotional freefall.

And then there’s the one where we thought we knew where we stood, but then we find the truth was opposite to the information we’d been acting upon.

All we can do is promise and deliver upon our own faithfulness, but that doesn’t get us as far as we think it would in terms of relationship safety.  It doesn’t always auger well for those who are prepared to lead by example.

I would argue that no matter how hard it is being the victim, it is always far worse a position to be the guilty party.  But this assumes the guilty party has a conscience and even is able to see themselves as being in the wrong.

For those who have been there, where a key person, a partner, a good friend, someone else you relied upon to the hilt, betrayed you through dishonesty, you find you never really get over it.

Sure, you can forgive a poor judgement associated with repentance.  It may take a while, but you can forgive that, because the person knows they’re wrong.

What is harder to forgive is the betrayal they justify or deny.  That’s when life really changes, and you enter a greater, more nebulous undoable grief.  It’s where grief gets complicated.

It’s amazing the impact it has on us when someone we relied upon in terms of a fundamental loyalty turns out to be a cheat.  It changes us from that instant onwards.  And sure, we grow out of it, but we would never have chosen that life for ourselves.

This leads me to finish on the note of thanks for those who are honest with us.

Let’s thank God for them!